21st Oct2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Oct 18th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and a man was reading an article and told a friend it said that pigs can have dozens of orgasms at the same time, to which the friend replied “That’s why your marriage has lasted so long.” I hope Impact is better than a horny pig, but you never know. Bound For Glory is this Sunday, so let’s get to the go-home show that will send us to AXS, next week.

impact-wrestling-header

Match #1: Michael Elgin def. Fallah Bahh w/ TJP

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Elgin uses his incredible power to suplex Fallah. The feats of strength continue with a big powerslam. Fallah builds momentum with a series of palm strikes, followed by a running crossbody for a two count. Elgin hits a running clothesline for a near fall of his own. Fallah climbs to the top but Elgin cuts him off and connects with the Elgin Bomb to win.

My Opinion: 3.1 out of 5 – This was a fun few minutes of two bowling balls being slammed into each other really hard. Elgin won and should have won, while Bahh managed to twerk his big boy-jugs from bell to bell like it was picture day. Imagine if King Kong and Godzilla were punching each other and they stopped to pee, but the peeing was still pretty cool. That’s the kind of match we have here.

Match #2: Jake Crist def. Chris Bey

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Jake Crist is looking to tune up for his X-Division Title defense in a multi-person Ladder Match at Bound for Glory. Bey flies over the top rope, crashing into Jake on the ramp. Bey jumps off the top rope but gets cut off with a mid-air superkick from Jake. Later on, Bey connects with a slingshot DDT for a near fall. Jake hits a super cutter off the top to win.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – This was a pretty fun match that made good use of mat wrestling and Bey’s incredible athleticism. Bey may very well be the one of the biggest breakthroughs of the year and he hasn’t even gotten a big contract yet. This was like a pencil being shoved up a monkey’s butt and the monkey starts going “oooooh, ooooh, ooooooooh”, because it likes the weirdness. Take that Dave Meltzer! Who needs five stars when you’ve got pencil-butt! Oh, the match is a blast.

Match #3: Rich Swann (w/ Willie Mack) def. Josh Alexander (w/ Ethan Page) & Rhino (w/ RVD)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This is a preview of the 3-way match for the Tag Team Championships Sunday at Bound for Glory. Rhino takes Swann and Alexander off the top with a huge Tower of Doom. Swann is about to jump off the top but Page gets up on the apron. Willie pulls him off and RVD gets involved. Alexander back body drops Swann over the top rope into the three of them on the floor. Rhino hits Alexander with a Gore but Page pulls the referee out. Page claims that Willie pulled the referee. In the ring, Swann capitalizes off the distraction with a 450 on Alexander to win. If he does that on Sunday, we’ll have new tag team champions.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – While not much in the way of structure, this was an intense and passionate display of big hits and brutal slams.

Match #4: Rohit Raju (w/ Gama Singh) vs. Sabu (w/ Super Genie) – X-Division Title Ladder Match Qualifier (Double Countout)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The winner of this match will join Jake Crist, Tessa Blanchard, Ace Austin and Daga in a Ladder Match for the X-Division Title at Bound for Glory. Sabu and Genie take turns launching themselves off a steel chair, colliding with Raju in the corner. Sabu hits a springboard tornado DDT. Genie tosses Sabu a steel chair and he rings it off the head of Raju. Gama tries to get involved but Genie stops him with a steel chair shot. Sabu sends Raju through a table on the outside with a leg drop off the top. The referee counts to ten, ending the match in a double countout. Neither man will be heading to the X-Division Title Ladder Match at Bound for Glory.

My Opinion: 1.4 out of 5 – There wasn’t much here, but it was cool seeing Sabu. All in all, Sabu is an icon of his era and it’s nice to see him on TV.

Match #5: (Main Event) Mahabali Shera def. Eddie Edwards, Kiera Hogan, Jordynne Grace, Havok, Johnny Swinger, Cody Deaner, Cousin Jake, Mahabali Shera, Raj Singh, Luster the Legend, Adam Thornstowe and Rosemary – Over the Top Rope Battle Royal (Winner Enters Call Your Shot Gauntlet at #20, Runner Up Enters at #1)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Eddie Edwards, Kiera Hogan, Jordynne Grace, Havok, Johnny Swinger, Cody Deaner, Cousin Jake, Mahabali Shera, Raj Singh, Luster the Legend, Adam Thornstowe and Rosemary are competing in this Battle Royal. Swinger oversteps his boundaries with the Knockouts, causing them to team up and throw him over the top for the first elimination. Kiera dropkicks Jordynne off the apron for the second elimination. Jake is eliminated during commercial break. Havok throws Kiera over the top but Cousin Jake catches her. Kiera instructs Jake to put her down and that’s exactly what he does, eliminating her in the process. Havok clotheslines both Raj and Cody off the apron for a double elimination. Rosemary eliminates Havok but Havok returns the favor from the outside as she pulls Rosemary over the top. Luster eliminates Thornstowe by accident. Eddie takes advantage of the shock and eliminates Luster. Reno Scum distracts Eddie from the outside, allowing Shera to powerslam Eddie over the top to win. Shera will enter the Bound for Glory Call Your Shot Gauntlet at #20, Eddie will enter at #1.

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – This wasn’t much of a match, but Eddie Edwards and Rosemary were in here, so that’s cool. Eddie at number 1 will be a good chance at having him run the gauntlet (Ric Flair, eat your heart out). Okay, Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch is the greatest movie ever made and Mahabali Shera won this match, which represent the two most important things I’ve ever said in my life.

News Of The Night:

  1. Michael Elgin attacked TJP and injured him.
  2. Sami Callihan cut an incredible promo on why he is the way he is and why he will win the Impact World Title at Bound For Glory.
  3. Ace Austin invites Alisha to party with him after he wins the X-Division Title at Bound for Glory this Sunday, which she refuses, but Ace persuades Alisha to change her mind (reluctantly).
  4. Moose and Ken Shamrock had a great video package about their feud that really made it feel like a true main event.
  5. There will be a mystery competitor in the Ladder Match for the X-Division Title at Bound For Glory.

Final Verdict: 2.7/5

There was some good wrestling here and some excellent vignettes for building toward Bound For Glory. I wish this episode was as good as the PPV that is coming this Sunday, but that happens.

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