18th Oct2019

‘NXT UK’ Review (Oct 17th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT UK review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Less Than Zero is really depressing. Don’t do drugs. Also, don’t get too obsessed with eating just meat or just plants. Neither one on their own is healthy enough for a proper diet. Eat all of the food groups in moderation and you’ll be fine. See? I can be smart. I mean, not that time, but I can fake it very badly.

NXT-uk-large

Match #1: Ilja Dragunov def. Saxon Huxley

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Ilja Dragunov returned to action like a hurricane to take on Saxon Huxley, the very competitor he was scheduled to face several weeks ago when he learned he was not medically cleared. Alexander Wolfe, the Superstar who took his place in that matchup, emerged mid-match and continued to show interest in The Menacing Muscovite. Armed with his frantic offense that sent him bounding about the ring like a human pinball, Dragunov overcame Huxley with Torpedo Moscow.

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – There was nothing special here, but IIja looked good here, so kiss the cook. Go on…kiss the cook. Charles Durning kissed the damn cook. David Hiddleston kissed the damn cook. What? Don’t want garlic on your breath? That’s silly. Yes you do! I know what I’m talking about! I…this was a really short match. That’s what I was going to say. Okay, this match was decent. I’m sorry, but I watched Less Than Zero and this match is reminding me of the movie for some reason. Maybe that’s reason enough to not give it a good review? I don’t know. Let’s hope the next match doesn’t remind me of World War 2.

Match #2: Imperium def. The Hunt

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After Imperium belittled The Hunt and ignited an all-out brawl one week earlier, Wild Boar & Primate went to war against Barthel & Aichner in a heated tag team match. Despite their animalistic efforts, The Hunt came up just short of victory after landing stereo headbutts off the top rope, as Barthel pulled his partner out of the pin at the last possible second. Imperium shook off the near-loss and overcame their adversaries with the European Bomb.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was a good match that didn’t remind me of World War 2. That means no Stalin jokes. I wish Helen Reddy had directed Scarface instead of Brian De Palma, because it would have been more violent. Helen would have played Tony Montana too. Say Helloooooooo Too My Little Frieeeeeeeeeend! She sang the killing. Imperium is kind of like Helen Reddy, when you really think about, because they are crazy, aggressive and ready to kick Elvis Presley’s ass for singing “Kentucky Rain”. The feud they have going on here is a good one, so I hope that match is seen as an investment in what they can do together, rather than just a checkpoint between the next stop.

Match #3: Xia Brookside def. Nina Samuels

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nina Samuels set out to once again captivate the WWE Universe against Xia Brookside. In the height of the action, though, Brookside used her abundant knowledge of the British style and her own fast thinking to reverse her opponent’s attack, quickly spinning around and dropping her knees down on her opponent’s shoulders to cancel The Nina Samuels Show for the night.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was just enough to be short and disappointing, but they tried.

Match #4: (Main Event) Gallus def. Mark Andrews & Flash Morgan Webster – NXT UK Tag Team Championships Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After weeks of heated conflict, Mark Andrews & Flash Morgan Webster set out to defend their NXT UK Tag Team Championships against Gallus’ Mark Coffey & Wolfgang. The contest proved to be an incredible battle that set the explosive offense of the titleholders against the hard-hitting and often nefarious methods of the Gallus stronghold. Moments after Wolfgang flung Andrews into the ring post, Webster missed his mark with two full rotations off the top rope. This paved the way for Coffey to hit the kick on The Modfather and tee him up for Wolfgang’s powerslam, which gave Gallus the victory and the NXT UK Tag Team Titles.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was an excellent main event that had the right winner in Gallus. The action was pretty even, with both teams looking formidable from bell to bell. There were explosive dives and grueling slams all the way through to make this whole thing into controlled chaos of a thrilling sort. See, this is why I try to avoid serious reviews, because I suck at them and they are just so damn boring. If you want the serious review, you can get that from any site. My reviews are terrible, which make you feel better about yourself because you can just picture the hunch-back twink monster that I am. That being said, a good main event makes me feel like saying serious things from time to time, so I’ll say that this is what wrestling needs more of, not Seth Rollins kissing Vince McMahon’s ass on Twitter in preparation for doing it again on the USA Network. This was some fine stuff for the show’s finale.

News Of The Night:

  1. Dave Mastiff attacked Jordan Devlin to continue their feud.
  2. A-Kid is coming soon to NXT UK.
  3. Noam Dar fights Trent Seven, next week.
  4. Travis Banks fights Ligero, next week.

Final Verdict: 3.4/5

This was a pretty good show that had some good action and a fine main event. As “Smart” Mark D. Mark likes to say, “The best part about a wrestling match is when the thespians start talking. That’s when it gets good.” SMDM is an idiot. I bet Vince McMahon wants to hire the bastard.

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