28th Aug2019

WWE Smackdown Live – Aug 27th 2019: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s SmackDown Live review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and… “cancel culture”! That’s a new buzz phrase. “Be the change”! See? How hip. “Lit fire”! Very trendy. “Live my best life”! I’m trying to appeal to millennials. I’m told people my age are dumber than a box of rocks, so these are the things I’m saying to my people in an effort to draw their asses in to get the viewer count up. My people. Pharaoh, let my people go…”awesome sauce”! Yes, come to me you dumb !&?$. It just occurred to me that giving away my plan in writing is a great way to screw up the plan, unless my contemporaries are as stupid as I’ve heard. I really gotta get that damn “delete” button. Okay, Roman Reigns finds out who tried to kill him, because a good wrestling match on a wrestling show doesn’t mean $#!@.

smackdown-2018-logo

Match #1: Ali def. Buddy Murphy – King of the Ring Tournament

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Two surging Superstars collided in the first round of the King of the Ring Tournament as Ali and Buddy Murphy set their sights on the throne. The two former rivals went absolutely berserk, with such highlights as a dazzling senton dive from Murphy and Ali connecting with an unreal reverse ‘rana. In the critical moments though, Ali weathered an absolute onslaught from Buddy, finding the space to connect with one of the most amazing DDTs you’ll ever see into a dazzling 450 splash, giving Ali one of the biggest wins of his life. WWE’s Best Kept Secret showed respect where it was due after the thriller, raising Ali’s hand in victory.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was an excellent match that probably shouldn’t have been booked, because Buddy really needed to follow his victory over Daniel Bryan with another win, but Ali was the right person to win and… Gilligan’s Island, brought to you by “Kellogg’s”! I almost pulled a Rosie O’Donnell there. You know what I mean. These guys worked real hard to make this feel important and they were quite successful. Go Noodle. This match made me feel like Carol Channing in a boxing match with Mike Tyson. Up yours, young man! Boy oh boy, was this a good one. Ali really has some-thing and seems to be poised to be one of the primary stars of, at least, SmackDown. Buddy is really good and when you put him with some-one who can wrestle, like Ali, you can’t go wrong too often. Overall, this had the right winner but at a cost to a wrestler who should not have been losing this early into his push.

Match #2: Bayley def. Lacey Evans

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Lacey Evans received a match against Bayley after sharing teatime with WWE management, as The Lady agreed with Charlotte Flair’s assessment that Bayley isn’t up to the high standard of representing the Women’s division on SmackDown LIVE. Bayley came right at Evans in this non-title matchup, clearly looking to make a statement to Flair ahead of their SmackDown Women’s Title clash at WWE Clash of Champions. The titleholder very soon got the chance to make the statement right in front of her, as The Queen arrived during the contest to get an up-close look. In the clutch, Bayley fought through the pain of her injured arm, which Evans relentlessly targeted throughout the bout, and planted Lacey with a Bayley-to-Belly, though Evans grabbed the bottom rope during the pin attempt. The Hugger persevered with a second Bayley-to-Belly, followed by a top-rope elbow to score an incredibly gutsy win on the road to WWE Clash of Champions.

My Opinion: 1.9 out of 5 – This was yet another bad performance by Evans, who just isn’t ready for TV. There’s no getting around it, so let’s not to. Evans sucks. She might get better in just a few years, but I wouldn’t waste TV time on her to find out. I thought NXT was in place for wrestlers like her to get better before they come to cable/network television? Bayley worked hard, but she couldn’t get Evans to do much other than stand there. Hey, it happens. They tried and they failed. I fail at everything, like writing articles. Okay, this wasn’t much to look at, but they tried.

Match #3: Randy Orton def. Big E

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Following Randy Orton’s ominous and haunting words earlier that led to the brutal brawl between he and Kofi Kingston in the evening, a bout between he and Big E was made official, but Big E was tasked with having to fend off more than just The Viper. Clearly looking to defend the honor of his New Day brother Kofi Kingston, Big E came out of the gates hot, flinging The Apex Predator into the steel steps and hurling him over the announce table. However, the match took a critical turn when Orton raked Big E’s eyes and began to systematically tear him apart. The New Day member refused to let The Viper’s dirty tactics slow him down, but The Revival soon hit the scene and nailed Big E with hits to his head behind the official’s back that opened Big E up to a pinpoint RKO for the victory.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was close to being really good, but it fell short for some reason. Orton isn’t exactly the most interesting guy, but sells like a rubber band in a tornado, which worked out well for Big E, who wrestles like a boulder with a Ph.D. in business management. I’d argue that these guys could have an interesting feud, if they were let off the leash a bit. Orton needs to do some actual wrestling, instead of this “10 Steps To DDT” process he has. Okay, that’s enough. This was good enough for at least one viewing.

Match #4: Drake Maverick def. Elias – 24/7 Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Elias walked into SmackDown LIVE with the 24/7 Championship by his side and sitting atop the King of the Ring throne, attempting to make a bold statement to all those still in his path en route to becoming the King. But Kevin Owens had bold statements of his own in mind. KO, who was defeated by Elias in the first round of the King of the Ring tournament in controversial fashion last week, soon hit the scene to interrupt his nemesis. To borrow a phrase from “Stone Cold,” Owens proceeded to raise hell, hitting Elias with a Stunner and leaving. That Stunner opened the door for 24/7 Title bedlam, as R-Truth appeared with a referee in an attempt to capitalize on the fallen Elias. Truth couldn’t seal the deal this time, as Drake Maverick popped up, tossed R-Truth into the ring post and pinned Elias for three to become the new 24/7 Champion… and then got the heck out of dodge and hopefully into a situation that finally results in him consummating his marriage.

My Opinion: 0 out of 5 – The Animaniacs…would’ve been better than this $#!@. Make sure to sing the theme song for Animaniacs so you know how crazy I am. Drake once wrestled Kurt Angle in Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling, I believe. Now, he’s the tuna fish champion of the world.

Match #5: (Main Event) Chad Gable def. Shelton Benjamin – King of the Ring Tournament

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin closed out the first round of the King of the Ring Tournament on SmackDown LIVE, as the two former tag team partners collided to earn the final spot in the quarterfinals. Benjamin, the crafty veteran, looked to have all his trash talk pay dividends early, coming out strong and applying pressure quick. Benjamin kept up the insults as the match progressed, until Gable could simply not take it anymore, unleashing on Shelton with a barrage of offense. From there, the two would go back and forth in an ultra-physical contest until Gable was able to counter Shelton with an impressive rollup that would secure the three-count and the chance to still be the next King of the Ring.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – This was really getting somewhere, but it ended before the crowd could even get into it. As short matches go, this pretty damn good, but it should’ve gone on for a lot longer.

News Of The Night:

  1. Randy Orton and Kofi Kingston brawled over Kofi’s family.
  2. Erick Rowan was revealed as the attacker, but while Daniel Bryan says Rowan is acting on behalf of somebody else, Roman thinks Bryan arranged the attack.

Final Verdict: 2.7/5

I think my review lasted longer than all of the matches combined.

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