24th Aug2019

Frightfest 2019: ‘Bullets of Justice’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Timur Turisbekov, Danny Trejo, Doroteya Toleva, Yana Marinova | Written by Valeri Milev, Timur Turisbekov | Directed by Valeri Milev


During World War III, the American government initiates a secret project codenamed ‘Army Bacon’ in order to create super soldiers by inbreeding humans with pigs. 25 years later the hybrid Muzzles have occupied the top of the food chain, eating and farming humanity. Bounty hunter Rob Justice works for the last line of human resistance – a group of survivors hiding in a nuclear bunker deep underground – and his mission is to search and destroy Muzzle Central… and the mother.

OK, so that’s the official synopsis for Bullets of Justice. Mine would read something a little more simpler, merely WTF!??! Seriously. this is the VERY definition of what the f*ck storytelling. There’s  little rhyme or reason to waht we see on screen, the editing seemingly jumping from scene to scene, set-piece to set-piece with little thought given to story structure and plotting. Instead we get a myriad of scenes that play out like the fever dream of a ten-year old asked to come up with a film about humans fighting pig-men.

In terms of structure and storytelling Bullets of Justice actually reminded me of the films of Godfrey Ho. You know the ones, where Ho would buy a movie, film ninjas doing ninja sh*t and then insert them into the totally unconnected movie to create some weird finished product that is then sold to audiences under somewhat false pretences. Here there’s no false pretence, this is the crazy ride in a post-apocalyptic future promised by the poster but… it does feel like a bunch of different stories cobbled togther to make a whole – especially as the film progresses. In fact the structure breaks down so much that if you’re not paying close attention to the script (and why would you in a film that is predominantly action?) you’ll miss throwaway lines about teleportation through time and space. Lines which explain why Rob Justice (Timur Turisbekov) and his sister/assistant move to a totally different plan to defeat the Muzzles two-thirds of the way into the film, totally ignoring the plot device they were originally using!

Was that the original intention? To feature teleportations and time travel? Who knows but its a plot point the latter portion of the film hangs on. Without it Bullets of Justice feels like two seperate films crammed together. After all, we have a plan to disguise our heroes as human meat and get into the home of the pig “Mother”. Then all of a sudden that’s NOT the plan, the mother plotline is abandoned and Rob turns up in a wall in a future where Rob Justice is a myth, a legend. Oh and who does he save when he does turn up in tha so-called future? Cristiano Ronaldo. Seriously. I said WTF and I mean it!

In terms of the casting, this is NOT a Danny Trejo film despite what the poster says. This is a Danny Trejo gets a quick paycheck for filming a flashback scene in the film as the heroes adoptive father. The star of this film is in fact Timur Turisbekov, who plays Rob Justice AND co-wrote the film; and as such Turisbekov gets to f*ck and fight his way through the film in a pastiche of all the American action heroes you’ve EVER scene. Honestly though the real stars of this film are the Muzzles – the creative and inventive ways the effects team created a bunch of half-pig, half-human hybrids on such a small budget is to be commended. In fact ALL the physical effects, including the infamous Benedict Asshole and the asshole family (wait till you see the film for THAT explanation), are fantastic and often outshine the rest of the movie!

Bullets of Justice is an odd film to recommend. And just an odd film to be honest. For one there’s somewhat of a language barrier and then it seems like there were a lot more ideas and plot threads that the budget would allow and it takes some filling in of the gaps to make sense of this story – which means ultimately each audience member is bound to create their own tale and their own spin on what they’ve seen. Especially THAT ending!

***  3/5

Bullets of Justice screened at Arrow Video Frightfest on Friday August 23rd 2019.


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