09th Jul2019

WWE Raw – July 8th 2019: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

2018-raw-logo

Welcome to this week’s Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the second week where Paul Heyman is booking (kind of). Also, my friend told me that Pat Patterson’s boys club is up and running again and Mae Young’s hand has been hired to wrestle at Summerslam against Mark Henry in a Rock, Paper, Scissors Match. I’ve got a pretty weird friend. Any-way, I hope this episode is good, because Extreme Rules needs some great build before it debuts on the WWE Network.

Match #1: Universal Champion Seth Rollins & Raw Women’s Champion Becky Lynch def. Andrade & Zelina Vega (Mixed Tag Team Elimination Match)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

That’s two in a row for Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch, who powered past Andrade & Zelina Vega to earn their second consecutive Mixed Tag Team Match victory, teeing them up for a third at Extreme Rules with their titles on the line. Unsurprisingly, the Twitter beef between Lynch & Zelina carried over into the match, and despite some impressive innovation from La Muñeca, The Man applied the Dis-arm-her to submit Vega, removing her from the bout per Elimination rules. Lynch was far from a passive presence for the rest of the match, however, brawling with Lacey Evans (her half of Sunday’s challengers) and Vega, while also getting the worst of some incidental contact with Andrade following an outside-the-ring scrap among the four competitors. Rollins’ concern for his partner briefly gave Andrade an opening to hit his running knees, but once Vega was dispatched a second time, The Beastslayer drilled Andrade with the Stomp to win the match. The two champions were not afforded the dignity of a peaceful exit, however: Baron Corbin and Evans resurfaced after the match to lay them out at the top of the stage as a final message for Sunday, and, perhaps, a preview of a world where Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch’s Mixed Tag Team Match stands at two impressive wins and one catastrophic loss.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – Why not just have this at Extreme Rules instead? This was good stuff, Papi. Did you think I was Latino? Well, I’m not. Andrade is Latino, however, and continues to do his people proud. Do his people? I’m sorry, but I can’t delete anything, because I don’t have the button. This had the kind of wrestling that can be quite addictive and, by having it start the card, you can get a few extra people to stick around. What an idea. Over-all, this was a real blast and a nice teaser for a much lamer match come Sunday.

Match #2: The Miz & The Usos def. Raw Tag Team Champions The Revival & Elias (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nine times out of ten, it’s a good day to be Shane McMahon’s friend. This, then, would be the 10th: Elias and The Revival — both allies of “The Best in the World” — were humiliated at the hands of The Usos and longtime Shane nemesis The Miz when they blew a 1-0 lead in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match, boosting Miz’s quest to get to Shane and, perhaps, teeing up another confrontation between the “Top Guys” and their rivals. The Living Truth bailed on his squad about halfway through the match after The Revival had already scored the first fall with a Shatter Machine to Jimmy Uso. The Raw Tag Team Champions held tough in essentially a Handicap Match scenario, but a Skull-Crushing Finale from The Miz tied things up, and The Usos sealed the deal with a splash to Scott Dawson. The Revival are, of course, still living the high life, which should be no small comfort following tonight. But if they were to sleep a little less soundly in those fine satin sheets, it’d be hard to blame them.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This had some excellent action, but the whole match could be tantamount to a car constantly stalling yet still making it to where it needed to go.

Match #3: Bobby Lashley def. Rey Mysterio (Open Challenge)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Rey Mysterio’s return from injury was almost a one-and-done affair, as The Ultimate Underdog issued an open challenge that brought out Bobby Lashley, steaming mad and ready to make an example of anything that moved following his savaging at the hands of Braun Strowman last week. True to form, Mysterio got Lashley to the cusp of a 619 despite the size difference, but The All Mighty rallied to bulldoze his foe with a bone-rattling Spear for the 1-2-3. Unwilling to stop at a mere pinfall, the two-time Intercontinental Champion prepared to gorilla press Mysterio through the LED screen — shades of what Strowman did to him last week — though he settled for throwing him into the crew of refs that intervened. His actual message to Strowman was shorter and sweeter, as he took the mic and vowed to prevail in their Last Man Standing Match this Sunday. As for Mysterio, when we look back on this night, the consensus may well be that he got off easy.

My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – This worked wonders for Bobby, but this was an terrible waste of Rey, who deserves so much better.

Match #4: Cesaro def. No Way Jose

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Cancelling No Way Jose’s match with Cesaro last week turned out to be little more than a slight delay of the inevitable, as The Swiss Cyborg finally got his hands on The Dominican Dancing Machine and pretty much did the same thing he did to Jose last week in an unofficial capacity. Though Jose got a little bit of offense in the opening moments, a European uppercut stopped him cold and freed up the former United States Champion to go to work, coldly dismantling Jose with a Cesaro Swing and Sharpshooter. Just another day at the office.

My Opinion: .5 out of 5 – Well, Cesaro won the…screw it…Claudio Castagnoli won the match. That felt good.

Match #5: The Viking Raiders def. Colin Justin & Devin Justin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Viking Raiders continued their reign of terror with their latest conquest, a pair of Garden State brothers named Colin & Devin Justin who stood about as much of a chance as you’d anticipate. Erik & Ivar were so dominant they actually let their opponents up from what was certain to be a three-count in order to continue the punishment, though they ended things quickly enough with the Viking Experience. At this point, The Viking Raiders’ dominance is hard to dispute, and the best that can be said for the Raw Tag Team division is that Erik & Ivar seem to be satisfied feasting on locals — at least for now.

My Opinion: 1 out of 5 – Okay, so War Machine is stuck with the NFL name. By the way, from what I’ve heard, the name “Viking Raider” is an oxymoron. This was a squash, so my interest was low. War Machine…Viking Raiders won the match, so that was a good thing.

Match #6: United States Champion Ricochet def. Luke Gallows

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Never let it be said Ricochet doesn’t know what he’s walking into: Although AJ Styles is his opponent this Sunday, the high-flyer is painfully aware that he’ll have to contend with the entire Club if he wants to escape Extreme Rules with his United States Title. The last word of his pre-match interview — “In the end, I’ll just have to fight all three” — ended up being oddly prophetic, as Luke Gallows and then Karl Anderson battled the titleholder in consecutive matches with Styles looming large at ringside. Even though the U.S. Champion quickly dispatched both Good Brothers, those matches were little more than pretext to wear him down in advance of the inevitable attack from Styles, who slid into the ring and instigated another 3-on-1 mauling the second Ricochet defeated Anderson. In what was as close to a merciful gesture as Styles had to offer, he promised to stop the beating so long as Ricochet stayed down. True to form, the champion did not obey, and Styles did what he promised, dropping Ricochet with a Phenomenal Forearm seconds later.

My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – I’m going to re-post the recap just above twice, since it pertains to both matches. As far as this match is concerned, it never went as far as it should have, but had potential.

Match #7: United States Champion Ricochet def. Karl Anderson

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Never let it be said Ricochet doesn’t know what he’s walking into: Although AJ Styles is his opponent this Sunday, the high-flyer is painfully aware that he’ll have to contend with the entire Club if he wants to escape Extreme Rules with his United States Title. The last word of his pre-match interview — “In the end, I’ll just have to fight all three” — ended up being oddly prophetic, as Luke Gallows and then Karl Anderson battled the titleholder in consecutive matches with Styles looming large at ringside. Even though the U.S. Champion quickly dispatched both Good Brothers, those matches were little more than pretext to wear him down in advance of the inevitable attack from Styles, who slid into the ring and instigated another 3-on-1 mauling the second Ricochet defeated Anderson. In what was as close to a merciful gesture as Styles had to offer, he promised to stop the beating so long as Ricochet stayed down. True to form, the champion did not obey, and Styles did what he promised, dropping Ricochet with a Phenomenal Forearm seconds later.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – This was starting to get some-where, but in true WWE style, never did.

Match #8: Smackdown Women’s Champion Bayley def. Sarah Logan – Beat the Clock Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

As goes Alexa Bliss, so goes Nikki Cross. And as of Monday night, that’s no longer rhetorical: Following a victory over Bayley in a Beat the Clock Challenge with the stipulation for Bayley vs. Bliss at stake, The Twisted Sister made a selection that could cement their alliance in stone. As a demonstration of her loyalty to Bliss, Cross —who dispatched Dana Brooke with plenty of time to spare against Bayley’s 4:32 win over Sarah Logan — selected a 2-on-1 Handicap Match as the stipulation, meaning Bayley will be defending her title against both women at once. Her advice that Bayley find a loyal friend to slap some sense into her didn’t exactly fall on receptive ears, as the champion slapped Cross in the face, dropped her with the Bayley-to-Belly and drilled a flying elbow into her sternum. Clearly, if Alexa Bliss has manipulated Nikki Cross, she’s too far gone to save. And if she hasn’t manipulated her, Bayley has two motivated opponents to deal with. Either way, the time for talk has ended.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – I’m using the same recap twice for the next two matches. This came and went with some nice moves and crisp action, but it wasn’t much of a match.

Match #9: Nikki Cross def. Dana Brooke – Beat the Clock Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

As goes Alexa Bliss, so goes Nikki Cross. And as of Monday night, that’s no longer rhetorical: Following a victory over Bayley in a Beat the Clock Challenge with the stipulation for Bayley vs. Bliss at stake, The Twisted Sister made a selection that could cement their alliance in stone. As a demonstration of her loyalty to Bliss, Cross —who dispatched Dana Brooke with plenty of time to spare against Bayley’s 4:32 win over Sarah Logan — selected a 2-on-1 Handicap Match as the stipulation, meaning Bayley will be defending her title against both women at once. Her advice that Bayley find a loyal friend to slap some sense into her didn’t exactly fall on receptive ears, as the champion slapped Cross in the face, dropped her with the Bayley-to-Belly and drilled a flying elbow into her sternum. Clearly, if Alexa Bliss has manipulated Nikki Cross, she’s too far gone to save. And if she hasn’t manipulated her, Bayley has two motivated opponents to deal with. Either way, the time for talk has ended.

My Opinion: 1 out of 5 – This sucked, but Nikki got another victory, so at least the right woman won.

Match #10: (Main Event) Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre def. Roman Reigns & “Gary ‘The GOAT’ Garbutt”

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Gary who? The mystery partner Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre selected to team with Roman Reigns turned out to be a custodian at the Prudential Center named Gary “The GOAT” Garbutt, who only accepted the gig after Shane and McIntyre promised him a $5,000 payday. In all honesty, Gary — a three-time, three-time, three-time Employee of the Month at Prudential Center who competed in a mask — earned his money and then some, breaking out a frankly astounding sequence of high-flying maneuvers before McIntyre turned him inside out with a match-ending Claymore. Reigns, who had been waylaid by a trip into the ring post before Gary tagged himself in, drove McIntyre and McMahon from the ring before unmasking “The GOAT” to reveal none other than Cedric Alexander, the former WWE Cruiserweight Champion who apparently assumed “The GOAT’s” identity for reasons yet unknown. Alexander received a busted lip for his troubles, and if Shane’s M.O. is any indication, that may well be the first of many painful lessons he learns … provided, of course, Shane & Drew don’t learn one first from Roman and his other partner this Sunday.

My Opinion: 1 out of 5 – Cedric got to do his best moves for twenty seconds, so there’s that.

News Of The Night:

  1. Paul Heyman said Brock Lesnar would cash in the Money In The Bank contract at Extreme Rules against either Heavy-Weight Champion.
  2. The bookers are teasing that Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch could be breaking-up.
  3. Bayley must defend her Smackdown Women’s Title in a Handicap Match against Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross at Extreme Rules.
  4. Bobby Lashley fights Braun Strowman in a Last Man Standing Match at Extreme Rules.
  5. AJ Styles fights Ricochet for the United States Title at Extreme Rules.

Final Verdict: 1.5/5

Remember when Vince Russo was hired as a booker in 2002 and was quickly replaced by Paul Heyman? I think Paul Heyman has been secretly replaced by Vince Russo, because this show sucked. Paul Heyman is supposed to take over Raw next week, but I have a feeling that this all might end-up as another cruel joke from Vince McMahon. The booking makes Raw feel like it’s stuck in 1985 World Wrestling Federation hell, because the matches are practically pointless. I feel like I’m cursed with watching the WWF informercial style of promoting, just so Vince can prove that his Pay Per Views can still draw.

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