24th Jun2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (June 20th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and this review includes some-one (possibly) getting their face bitten off. I’m not kidding. Really. Okay, let’s see if this is a train-wreck or not. Hey, once there’s a (possible) mutilation involved, shouldn’t that dampen my spirits, just a little bit?

Match #1: Tessa Blanchard def. Jake Crist

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tessa hits a cutter in the early going, followed by multiple dives through the ropes to the floor! Tessa jumps off the top but Jake cuts her off with a mid-air superkick! Jake remains in control with a series of wrestling moves, including a side Russian legsweep and powerslam. Tessa begins to build momentum but Jake puts a stop to it by raking her eyes. Jake hits a Death Valley Driver for a two count. Tessa turns it around and connects with Magnum off the top to win!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a solid match that had enough gas in its tank to get you about half-way to where you needed to go. I know there are a lot of people who seem to think that inter-gender wrestling is a bad idea, but I’ve got no problem with this. If a woman is the best wrestler around, then she should be champion. They don’t call the NWA World Title the Men’s World Title, do they? Anyway, Tessa and Jake worked pretty well together and made this opener a good venture. I sound like a realtor. Venture? Well, at least it isn’t one of my made-up words like “tremagnifitude”.

Match #2: Madman Fulton w/ Sami Callihan def. Eddie Edwards

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

They brawl on the outside to start the match. Eddie jumps off the apron but Fulton catches him and hits a Chokeslam on the hardest part of the ring! Fulton continues the beatdown inside the ring, hitting another devastating Chokeslam! Fulton distracts the referee, allowing Callihan to attack Eddie from the outside. Eddie turns the tide with a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall! Callihan gets up on the apron. Eddie knocks him down to the floor! Eddie grabs the new Kenny that was given to him by The Sandman when Killer Kross appears on the big screen! It appears as though Kross has kidnapped Sandman and is waterboarding him to get Eddie’s attention! Fulton hits Eddie with a huge swinging slam off the distraction to win.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a…damn it. I almost said solid, again. This was…good. Yeah, that works. It’s nice to see Fulton get a crack at winning a match against an established name like Eddie, but this felt too random to be of use. When you get a victory over a big name, it’s supposed to mean some-thing. Will most folks remember this moment in time in a few episodes? Probably not. I know. It’s a small gripe, but an important one to some of us. Also, we had another terrible distraction for the finish. I hate this soap opera $#!@. The match was pretty good, though.

Match #3: Moose def. Tommy Dreamer

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tommy sends Moose crashing into the steel ring post, followed by a back body drop on the floor! Moose regains control with a slam on the apron. Both men trade shots in the corner. Moose plays to the crowd a bit much, allowing Dreamer to get the better of the exchange. Dreamer hits a DDT for a two count. Dreamer takes Moose off the top rope with a huge Superplex! Dreamer hits Moose with his own finisher, the Spear. Moose pulls the referee in front of him to avoid a steel chair shot. Dreamer pushes the ref out of the way, but that allows Moose to kick the chair into Dreamer’s face! Moose hits the Spear to put Dreamer away.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – This was a bit slow, but nobody got lazy, so there’s that. This was a matter of good effort not quite yielding the results they deserved. Over-all, this was match number three and that’s about all, despite an attempt to make a better bout.

Match #4: Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie def. Su Yung w/ James Mitchell & Havok by Disqualification – Knockouts Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taya is in control in the early going as she hitting running double knees. Taya is playing to the crowd, which allows Su to counter and send Taya into the corner turnbuckles. Su hits a modified Hurricanrana for a two count. Su connects with a hanging pedigree for another close near fall! The bloody glove comes into play as Su puts it on! Taya turns it around before she can use it and hits a curb stomp! Taya climbs to the top but Havok attacks her, causing the disqualification!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was over far too soon for a match that had such potential. That’s all I can say about too brief a match.

Match #5: TJP def. Ace Austin

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The action is fast and furious right off the bat as TJP goes on the attack. Ace attempts a top rope Hurricanrana but TJP counters into a mid-air powerbomb! TJP hits a huge crossbody, followed by a modified GTS to win in shocking fashion!

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – The moves were nice, but Ace’s winning streak deserved to end in much grander fashion. It is nice to see TJP back in one of his old stomping grounds. This match was okay. I feel like a pre-schooler telling the teacher about what he did over the weekend.

Match #6: (Main Event) X-Division Champion Rich Swann def. Johnny Impact & Michael Elgin – Non-Title 3-Way Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Both Swann and Johnny fly over the top, taking turns crashing into Elgin on the floor. Elgin connects with a double German suplex on Impact and Swann. Swann takes Impact off the top with a Hurricanrana, sending him crashing into Elgin on the mat! Elgin hits Swann with a Celtic Cross, Johnny follows up with a standing Shooting Star on Swann for a two count. Swann hits a double handspring cutter, taking out both Elgin and Impact! Elgin puts Swann on his shoulders. Impact follows up with a springboard kick into Swann but he counters and hits Elgin with a Hurricanrana! Impact attempts Starship Pain but Elgin avoids it. Impact hits Elgin with the Spanish Fly but Swann immediately hits Impact with the 450 Splash to win!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was so close to getting a better rating, but length cut it off at the pass before it could make it to Canyon Ridge. That’s a clichéd Western joke. Did you hate it? These guys worked very hard and got very little in return. Why would you force the main event to be so brief? I get that Impact is taped in groups, but that’s no excuse for the main events to suffer for it. I sound so damn stuffy. It’s a bit bizarre for Swann to win this when the World Title contender is in need of a victory to continue to show why he deserves to fight for the title. Then again, at least Swann actually got a victory worth remembering…for about a minute. Yeah, I’m complaining again. Why can’t Impact advertise these matches more? Pursuit Channel or not, I should be seeing these matches advertised during at least a Ring Of Honor show (Sinclair likes money and so do their affiliates) Impact has advertised matches during Raw and Smackdown before. Why not now? Yeah, yeah. Any-way, this was fine stuff, but it all just felt a bit of a waste, thanks to the length and the lack of grandeur.

News Of The Night:

  1. Tessa Blanchard will wrestle Sami Callihan at Slammiversary.
  2. Eddie Edwards bit off (might have) Killer Kross’s face during a brawl that started out as Kross water-boarding The Sandman. My eyes don’t believe what they (may have) saw.
  3. Michael Elgin will fight for the Impact World Title against Brian Cage at Slammiversary.
  4. Taya Valkyrie will defend the Knockouts Championship against Su Yung, Havok and Rosemary in a Monsters Ball Match at Slammiversary.
  5. Konnan praised then threatened The Rascalz ahead of the big tag team title match at Slammiversary between LAX and The Rascalz.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

This was a mundane sort of thing that took a shocking detour into Texas Chainsaw territory with the Eddie Edwards/Killer Kross fiasco.

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