10th Jun2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (June 6th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have more on the road to Slammiversary. Okay, let’s find out if Impact screwed the pooch or took it for a walk.

Match #1: Ace Austin def. Cousin Jake w/ Cody Deaner

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Ace flies over the top rope to the floor but Jake catches him in mid-air and hits a slam on the apron. Jake cuts off a springboard kick attempt by Ace, stopping him with a clubbing blow. Ace ties up Jake in the corner and gives him a sick paper cut! Ace hits a top rope Fameasser for a two count! Jake connects with a Michinoku Driver for a very close near fall. During the match, The Desi Hit Squad attack Cody Deaner at ringside. Ace hits Jake with The Fold off the distraction to win!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a nice addition to the annals of “style versus style”. This match rested on the laurels that a clash of styles usually provides, with this occasion being marked by power and speed battling for supremacy. The over-all thrust of this match did eventually get shot in favor of a more even match at a certain point in the third act, with both men going for big moves. This review is already pretty damn boring, isn’t it? In any case, we got some more Ace out of this, so that’s pretty cool.

Match #2: Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary w/ Su Yung – Non-Title Match Ends in a No Contest

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taya hits running double knees in the corner. Taya remains in control with a release German suplex. Rosemary begins to build momentum by hitting a Slingblade, followed by a reverse DDT! But then, Father James Mitchell introduces Havok to the world as she attacks the Demon Assassin! The match is called off.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Well, this started and ended. When are promoters going to stop booking matches to end by disqualification for pathetic reasons? Havoc is a good addition to the roster, but having her just attack everyone is too weak a way to bring her in. Plus, this match gets wasted in favor of…what? Whatever.

Match #3: Madman Fulton w/ Sami Callihan def. Local Competitors – 1 on 2 Handicap Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Fulton makes quick work of his opponents and hits numerous Chokeslams to win.

My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – This was another lame squash match. If you wouldn’t want to go back and watch the squash later, then it probably isn’t any good to begin with.

Match #4: oVe (Jake & Dave Crist) def. Scarlett Bordeaux & Fallah Bahh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Sami Callihan and Madman Fulton are ejected from ringside! Fallah hits Jake with a big running crossbody but Dave immediately tags in, allowing oVe to keep the momentum. After being beaten down, Fallah is just about to tag in Scarlett when Dave pulls her off the apron! Fallah counters a sunset flip attempt from Jake, allowing him to finally tag in Scarlett! Scarlett goes on the attack, hitting multiple Hurricanranas, followed by a top rope crossbody to take out both members of oVe! Fallah connects with his signature dive through the ropes to the floor. Scarlett is next to fly as she hits a modified Swanton Bomb to the outside! Scarlett and Fallah hit Dave with Doomsday off the top for a very close near fall! Behind the referees back, Dave hits Fallah with a roll of quarters! Dave scores the pin and the win for oVe.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – These guys worked hard to make a meager match feel important. There is some solid wrestling in here and a lot of enthusiasm on display. I feel like I’m in stage 1 of a PBS pledge drive. If you like simple, fun tag matches, then this one will count as one of those kinds of matches.

Match #5: Jordynne Grace def. Kiera Hogan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Grace launches herself off the second rope, crashing into Kiera on the mat for an early two count. Kiera begs Jordynne to stop the attack but it was all a ruse in attempt to gain the advantage! Kiera hits a running dropkick in the corner. Kiera pummels Grace with a series of kicks to remain in control. Grace connects with the Grace Driver to score the victory!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a good little match that probably would have been even better if it had gone longer. Grace and Hogan have plenty of talent, but they keep getting these brief burst of action as their bookings, rather than the long, exciting matches that they are capable of.

Match #6: (Main Event) Tag Team Champions LAX (Santana & Ortiz) w/ Konnan def. The Rascalz (Dez & Wentz) w/ Trey – Tag Team Championship Match by Disqualification

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Wentz hits Ortiz with a springboard corkscrew. Dez flies over the top rope with a Super Space Flying Tiger Drop to both members of LAX on the floor! Wentz hits Ortiz with a Swanton, followed by a top rope corkscrew from Ortiz for a very close near fall! Trey takes a sip out of LAX’s flask they brought with them to ringside! Dez connects with a handspring wheel kick on Santana. Santana hits Dez with a cutter! Meanwhile, Ortiz rolls up Wentz for a near fall! Ortiz confronts Trey about drinking from his flask! Ortiz takes a sip but Dez punches him in the gut, causing Ortiz to spit the liquid in the referees face! Trey, who isn’t legally in this match, jumps off the top rope and rolls up Ortiz! Another referee comes in and mistakenly counts to three, awarding the match to The Rascalz! The Rascalz think they are the new Tag Team Champions until the blinded referee recovers and disqualifies the Rascalz for Trey getting involved! He reverses the decision, meaning that LAX retains the Tag Team Championships!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – Bad booking got in the way of some fine wrestling. What else is new? Why do bookers always feel the need to dip their hand into the bag of tricks and pull out needless gimmicks to act as a finish? Damn it. I know. This is the way things have been for a while. Wrestling needs to just let these guy and gals knock the piss out of each other on their own accords, instead of this lame kind of booking. Anyway, come for the action and stay for the wrestling.

News Of The Night:

  1. Moose will wrestle Rob Van Dam at Slammiversary.
  2. Rich Swann will defend his X-Division Title against Johnny Impact at Slammiversary.
  3. James Mitchell unleashed Jessica Havoc on Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary.
  4. James Mitchell freed Su Yung from Rosemary’s possession.
  5. A Sami Callihan/Tessa Blanchard match seems like it might be happening.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

This was a boring, yet eventful show that built toward Slammiversary efficiently.

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