22nd Apr2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (April 18th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a surprise or two to share…I think. Fifty Shades of Grey was a bit boring, but it was nice to know that Dakota Johnson was real. I bet she has a whole bunch of stories to tell about her famous family. Maybe, they’ll be more interesting than the past few Impact episodes? Let’s find out right now, if Impact is gonna be good.

Match #1: Scarlett Bordeaux & Fallah Bahh def. Desi Hit Squad (Rohit Raju & Raj Singh) w/ Gama Singh – Mixed Tag Team Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Desi Hit Squad attacks Fallah from behind but Fallah fights back with a double clothesline. Scarlett is about to fly when Rohit cuts her off. Scarlett hits him with with a Hurricanrana! Scarlett holds the ropes open for Fallah as he dives into the Desi Hit Squad on the outside. Scarlett launches herself off the top to the floor, connecting with a crossbody on the Desi Hit Squad! Rohit wants Scarlett in the corner but he gets Fallah instead! Fallah and Scarlett squash Raj in the corner to score the victory!

My Opinion: 1.5 out of 5 – There wasn’t much here to talk about, other than Scarlett exceeding expectations.

Match #2: Dez w/ The Rascalz (Trey & Wentz) def. Moose

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Moose hits a sick snake eyes into the corner! Moose connects with a huge clothesline. Moose charges into the corner but Dez avoids him, sending him crashing into the steel ring post. Dez flies over the top rope but Moose catches him in mid-air and whips him into the steel steps, then into the other members of the Rascalz! Trey distracts Moose, allowing Wentz to hit him with a kick from the apron. Dez rolls up the big man to score the upset victory!

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Some good action was ruined by brevity and a badly booked climax.

Match #3: Madman Fulton def. Tommy Dreamer

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Callihan attempts to get involved but the referee catches him and ejects him from ringside! Fulton attempts a powerbomb but Dreamer counters with a Hurricanrana to the floor. Fulton charges at Dreamer but he avoids it, causing Fulton to crash hard into the steel ring post. Dreamer bites Fulton, then follows up with a cutter! It’s not enough to keep the Madman down though as gets right back up. Dreamer swings and misses with a kendo stick. Fulton hits a devastating finisher to put Dreamer away.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – There was some nice brawling here, but it just never turned into a match that you’d be assumed to remember when it was over.

Match #4: Madison Rayne def. Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie – Non-Title Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taya continues to retreat when Jordynne Grace appears and throws her back in the ring! Madison rolls up Taya for the shocking victory!

My Opinion: 0 out of 5 – This sucked ass. This was a short as a baby’s nose hair and as foul as the stench from its filthy diaper. I want my money back.

Match #5: (Main Event) Tag Team Champions Lucha Bros (Pentagon Jr & Fenix) def. Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake – Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Lucha Bros go for the Spike Piledriver on Eli in the early going but Eddie kicks Fenix, then hits Pentagon with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Eli takes Fenix off the top with a huge Superplex! Eli counters a cutter from Fenix, allowing Eddie to hit a follow-up flying knee off the top. Lucha Bros hit in-sync superkicks on Eli. Pentagon then dives off the top, taking out Eddie on the outside! LAX appears at ringside, causing a distraction for the Lucha Bros. Eli rolls up Pentagon for a very close near fall! Eli swings and misses with the kendo stick, allowing the Lucha Bros to hit the Spike Piledriver on Eli for the win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – They had something good here, but it was squandered so they could make room for the ten thousand promos that seemed to plague this show.

News Of The Night:

  1. Eli Drake finally betrayed Eddie Edwards.
  2. Lance Storm will be the Special Guest Referee for the Impact World Title Match at Rebellion.
  3. Tessa Blanchard attacked Robert Irvine’s restaurant as a way of torturing his lover, Gail Kim.
  4. The Deaner’s had a few more good promos.
  5. Rob Van Dam is on his way back to Impact Wrestling.
  6. oVe brutally attacked Tommy Dreamer after his match with Mad-Man Fulton was over.
  7. Killer Kross is still trying to end the friendship of Willie Mack and Rich Swann.

Final Verdict: 2/5

This was as bad as the new Hellboy movie. Actually, I think the new Hellboy movie was a bit better than this. Far too little wrestling being merged with far too much talking always leaves a wrestling show with not enough to offer to folks.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Off

Comments are closed.