15th Apr2019

‘Long Lost’ Review

by Chris Thomas

Stars: Adam Weppler, Catherine Corcoran, Nicholas Tucci, Fran Kranz | Written and Directed by Erik Bloomquist

long-lost-poster

Long Lost is a low budget thriller mystery that includes the immortal line “you have asparagus in your teeth”. Our young slacker of a protagonist, Seth gets invited to a mansion by cryptic letter (as we often do). From this point we are introduced to a slightly creepy rich chap who “values his privacy” and thinks that “the internet is a creepy place”. It sure is.

The film also has the line “I handle my own wood”. Who doesn’t.

The creepy chap turns out to be rude and we are told is Richard, Seth’s half brother, and Richard instigates a game called “chubby bunny” (which was actually quite enjoyable and involves marshmallows if you are not aware of it)

Long Lost is a stripped down, character driven mystery where almost everything is based within the walls or grounds of the house with three characters and our mystery unraveling at a slow pace. The film is very professionally written and directed by Erik Bloomquist, who has worked with HBO (so naturally I am impressed). The press release from the production company states that ” With the help of his enigmatic live-in girlfriend Abby (Catherine Corcoran, Terrifier), Richard leads Seth down a psychosexual rabbit hole wherein luxury and temptation are intermingled with treachery and taboo.”

Now I feel embarrassed to tell you this, but I have never been down a “psycho sexual rabbit hole”. As Long Lost goes on I grow to quite like our characters, Richard is a narcissistic weirdo but we got enough time with him to actually appreciate the performance. As a narcissistic weirdo, I approve. Over the course of the film Seth gets grumpier while Abby and Richard never truly convince as a couple but I got the sense that that was the point, that Abby would be best served taking her life in another direction.

Perhaps it is a little unfair that I saw Long Lost in the same week as I saw the new Pet Sematary or Us, both of which made Long Lost seem uneventful by comparison. Competently made, well acted and I enjoyed it but I suspect people will expect more from the film. However it takes the film a long time to NOT get where we are going – until the last 15 minutes suddenly speed up and tie things up in an unsatisfying and illogical way.

I quite enjoyed Long Lost until we got to the end and the inevitable, frantic ending that didn’t make a great deal of sense. Fine performances, competently made but there is not enough here to recommend it.

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