01st Apr2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (March 28th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a bunch of stuff that happened, so let’s get to that right now before I forg…$#!@.

Match #1: Scarlett Bordeaux def. Glenn Gilbertti

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Scarlett rolls up Glenn in the early going for multiple near falls! Scarlett hits a big crossbody off the top rope. Glenn resorts to grabbing Scarlett’s hair to take the advantage. Scarlett hits Glenn with the Stunner for a two count! Glenn attempts punches in the corner but Scarlett counters with a powerbomb to win!

My Take: 0.5 out of 5 – This sucked, but at least Scarlett won the match.

Match #2: Jordynne Grace def. (Knockouts Champion) Taya Valkyrie (by Countout) – Knockouts Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taya uses a thumb to the eye but Jordynne comes right back with a shoulder block. Jorydnne is draped on the ropes and Taya hits running double knees. Taya hits running double knees once again, this time in the corner. Taya is in firm control of the match. Jordynne turns it around with a suplex, followed by a running forearm! Jordynne avoids a Moonsault but can’t get Taya up for the Grace Driver! Taya claims to have injured her ribs on the missed Moonsault, causing Johnny Impact to come out and check on her. The referee counts Taya out, awarding the victory but not the title to Jordynne Grace.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was fine, but it never really got going, especially for a title match.

Match #3: (Main Event) Killer Kross def. Brian Cage

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Despite being attacked at ringside moments ago, Cage is on fire in the early going! Kross drive Cage into the steel ring post, followed by hammerlock slam to regain control. Cage attempts to suplex Kross into the ring from the apron but Kross counters and pulls on Cage’s arm. Cage hits a discus clothesline but Kross gets right back up! Kross locks in the Kross Jacket until Cage breaks the hold. Cage hits a Moonsault off the second rope for a near fall. Kross connects with the Doomsday Saito Slam but Cage kicks out at two! Even with an injured arm, Cage is able to get Kross up for a powerbomb but somehow, Kross kicks out! Cage is about to score the victory when Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie come to ringside. Johnny distracts the referee while Taya hits Cage with the low blow! Kross connects with another two Doomsday Saito Slams but miraculously, Cage kicks out! For some reason, the referee calls for the bell and is saying that Cage’s shoulders were down for three. The victory is unjustly awarded to Kross.

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was a good match that was like watching two bowling balls slam into each other for a few minutes.

News Of The Night:

  1. The Lucha Bros and LAX had a big brawl to start the show.
  2. LAX will fight the Lucha Bros in a Full Metal Mayhem Match for the Tag Team Championships, April 28th at Rebellion.
  3. Josh Alexander is coming soon to IMPACT Wrestling.
  4. Madison Rayne is back, next week.
  5. Gail Kim is coming out of retirement to fight Tessa Blanchard.
  6. oVe tortures Mad Man Fulton to make him work for them.
  7. Luchasaurus was killed by Rosemary in the land of the dead.
  8. Allie was killed by Su Yung in the land of the dead.
  9. Kevin Sullivan was revealed as James Mitchell’s master.

Final Verdict: 1.5/5

This was a lousy show that relied on too many promos to save the day.

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