18th Mar2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (March 14th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some interesting stuff to get to, so grab your Frida T-Shirts and let that uni-brow hang out wide, because we got some wrestling matches, tonight. Oh God, I rhymed…a bit. That’s terrible. Aloha.

Match #1: Sami Callihan & oVe (Jake & Dave Crist) vs. Rich Swann, Willie Mack & Tommy Dreamer – Six-Man Tag Team Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

oVe begin to wear down Dreamer on their side of the ring. Dreamer counters a Piledriver attempt from Callihan, allowing him to tag in Mack. Mack catches Callihan in mid-air and hits a Samoan Drop. Swann connects with Rolling Thunder on Callihan. Swann and Mack both hot big dives over the top rope, crashing into everyone on the floor. Dave sends Swann off the top rope into a kick from Callihan, allowing oVe to regain control. Dreamer connects with a cutter for a near fall! Mack hits the Booty Bomb onto everyone in the corner! Dreamer hits Callihan with a splash off the top rope! Callihan connects with the groin claw, followed by a Piledriver on Dreamer to score the win.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was Impact in a nut-shell. While you have a lot of talented people working hard to make a name for themselves in a crowded market, you have Tommy Dreamer, a man of considerable talent over the years, squandering it with a lame comedy routine stuck in the middle of his offense. I get that Tommy has lost a good amount of his physical prowess, but turning into a cheap Dusty Rhodes knock-off can’t be his only idea. That being said, this match worked well when it was about actual wrestling, so there’s that.

Match #2: Glenn Gilbertti def. Kikutaro

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Gilbertti returns to the ring as he prepares for his match against Scarlett Bordeaux in two weeks at Against All Odds. The action spills to the outside as Gilbertti sends Kikutaro into the steel ring post! Gilbertti hits a big swinging neckbreaker for a two-count. Kikutaro misses a Moonsault, allowing Gilbertti to hit a stunner for the win.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a perfectly fine match that gave to comedy wrestlers a chance to actually do a bit of wrestling for a change. In some ways, this was a dream match, in that you have two of the most outrageous athletes in wrestling history in one ring at one time, but they were taking it seriously. This was the same scenario Impact/TNA had with AJ Styles and Rob Van Dam, as that was a battle of aerialists turned into a grueling catch match, which disappointed some, but did deliver a good match regardless. I thought this was good over-all, but it would have been nice if this was more than some random surprise.

Match #3: KM & Fallah Bahh def. Reno Scum (Adam Thornstowe & Luster the Legend)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Reno Scum jumpstart the match as they brawl with KM and Fallah on the ramp during their entrance! Reno Scum wear down KM as Fallah has trouble recovering from the early attack. Fallah makes it back to the apron and receives the hot tag! Fallah hits Thornstowe with a big Samoan Drop to pick up the victory!

My Take: 2 out of 5 – I wouldn’t go looking for the match of the year, but they got in the ring and didn’t die, so there you go. Both teams do have potential, but this felt like a match that was made because it was the only option, rather than it being a great idea. Screw it. It got them on TV.

Match #4: Jordynne Grace def. Tessa Blanchard – #1 Contender’s Match for Knockouts Championship

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tessa traps Grace in the corner and hits a superkick, followed by a Codebreaker. Grace turns it around by hitting a thunderous Spinebuster. Grace connects with a modified Michinoku Driver for a very close near fall! Tessa counters a Muscle Buster attempt and slams Grace to the mat. Tessa gets on the top rope, name drops Gail Kim and gets slammed by Grace for it. Grace follows up with the Grace Driver to win!

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was an excellent little match that should have been given more time, but at least they got to do something that will give them a bit of notoriety for this year.

Match #5: (Main Event) Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake def. Desi Hit Squad (Rohit Raju & Raj Singh) w/ Gama Singh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Raj hits Eddie with a DDT as the Desi Hit Squad is in control in the early going. Eddie hits the ropes but Raj knees him in the back from the apron. Rohit knocks Drake to the floor, causing Drake to get illegally was involved. Drake takes out both members of the Desi Hit Squad. Gama gets up on the apron but it backfires. To everyone’s surprise, Drake gives Eddie his kendo stick and he uses it on Rohit! Eddie pins Rohit to pick up the win.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – As main events go, this wasn’t one of the more memorable, but it was one that performed its task well, which was to sell us on the idea of Eddie Edwards and Eli Drake being a good tag team. The action was good enough, but it wasn’t much beyond what necessary to make the match look competent. They tried to make some-thing of this match, but this was just the next step in a storyline that doesn’t seem to have much going for it. Overall, I have nothing bad to say of this match, but I’d be lying if I told you it was a great one.

News Of The Night:

  1. Gail Kim got suspended for attacking Tessa Blanchard after the latter assaulted a referee.
  2. Johnny Impact turned heel on Brian Cage.
  3. Sami Callihan will fight for the X-Division Title against Rich Swann, next week.
  4. Rosemary tried to get Allie to become her normal self.
  5. Konnan was denied a tag title re-match for LAX by the Lucha Bros.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

This was a weak show that got by on not doing anything bad, but didn’t necessarily do anything great either.

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