05th Feb2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Jan 31st 2019)

by Nathan Favel


Welcome to this week’s review of Impact Wrestling, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Porky and Tweety and Daffy and Bugs and all your cartoon pals! Also, here’s some $#@!&? wrestling.

Match #1: Lucha Bros (Pentagon Jr & Fenix) & Taurus def. LAX (Santana & Ortiz) & Daga – Six Man Tag Team Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taurus flies through the ropes, taking out Ortiz with a corkscrew on the floor. Daga hits a flip dive over the top to Fenix on the outside. Pentagon sends Santana crashing into Ortiz with a monkey flip. Fenix connects with a springboard flying headbutt on Ortiz. Ortiz hits Taurus with a suicide dive on the floor. Fenix soars through the air like only he can, taking out everyone with a springboard to the outside! The Lucha Bros hit the double foot stomp into Fear Factor piledriver on Ortiz to win.

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was excellent stuff and it’s a shame that it didn’t go longer. Daga was great and every-body else was right there with him giving a great performance. This was like watching someone play a video game and run through all of the moves in the Create-A-Wrestler at lightning speed. I enjoyed this one and you might just enjoy it too.

Match #2: Kiera Hogan & Jordynne Grace def. Su Yung & Allie

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Grace hits a double vertical suplex on Su and Allie. Kiera is on fire with a flurry of running strikes on Su in the corner. Su attempts to red mist Grace but she ducks! Su and Allie double team Grace into the steel ring post. Kiera repeatedly attempts get in the match but the referee stops her, allowing Su and Allie do attack Grace on the other side of the ring. The power goes on during the match and Rosemary replaces Su Yung on the apron! Kiera hits Allie with a swinging neckbreaker to win off the distraction.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a solid match that served to make Grace look like god among mortals, while also trying to make sense of the Su Yung/Allie $#!@. It’s one of those matches that served the function it was made for, but nothing more.

Match #3: Eddie Edwards & Eli Drake def. The Rascalz (Dez & Wentz)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Drake is trying to persuade Eddie to leave his hardcore ways behind and return to the Eddie Edwards of old. Drake tags himself in, much to the dismay of Eddie. Wentz hits Drake with a corkscrew Plancha. Wentz connects with a double foot stomp on Drake for a near fall. Eddie makes no attempt to break up the pin. Dez is about to be tagged into the match but Drake pulls him off the apron! Drake attempts to suplex both Rascalz but they reverse with a double DDT! Eddie attempts to bring his kendo stick into play but the referee stops him. Drake steals the kendo stick and hits Dez over the head without the ref or Eddie knowing! Drake follows up with the Gravy Train on Dez to win.

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was a good match that established Eli as the heel in this angle between him and Eddie Edwards, as Eddie wanted to wrestle fairly. The action was good and even, but it didn’t get to go too long. The Rascalz are a fine team and they could be popular for the same reasons that the Motor City Machine Guns were a success, as both teams can wrestle the X-Division technique like it’s the back of their hands. Overall, this was a good match that should have had a bit more time.

Match #4: Psycho Clown def. Fallah Bahh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This is a preview of World Cup 2019, taking place in two weeks at Uncaged! Fallah sends Psycho Clown over the top rope to the floor. Fallah launches himself off the apron with a crossbody. Psycho Clown struggles as Fallah attempts to pry his mask off. He gets out of it and hits a suicide dive! Psycho Clown takes to the air once again with a flip dive over the top. Psycho Clown hits a sunset-flip powerbomb for a near fall! Both men jockey for the advantage as Psycho Clown rolls up Fallah for the win!

My Take: 1 out of 5 – This was lousy. This sucked. Do you wanna watch it and find out or trust me and watch it anyway? It’s a one-way street!

Match #5: (Main Event) Moose & Killer Kross def. Johnny Impact & Brian Cage

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Moose and Kross wear down Impact on their side of the ring, preventing him from tagging in Cage. Kross locks in a modified Dragon Sleeper on Impact but he fights out of it. Impact makes the tag to Cage and he goes on a rampage! Cage hits Moose with a German suplex for a two count. Kross breaks up a move attempt by Cage so Kross gets hit with a German suplex of his own. Impact tags himself into the match. Moose hits Cage with Go to Hell but the referee won’t count because Impact is legal! Impact hits Moose with a top rope corkscrew crossbody but Kross breaks the follow-up pin attempt. Impact attempts to kick Kross but he ducks, causing Impact to nail Cage! Cage is about to fight back when Moose hits Impact with a devastating spear! Moose pins Impact as Cage watches on to win.

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was a good main event that made everybody look tough while pushing the four man title feud between these four guys. The wrestling worked well and got the fighters from point A to point B in short order. Overall, this was a good main event that did its job well.

News Of The Night:

  1. LAX and the Lucha Bros. will fight for the Impact World Tag Team Titles, next week.
  2. Johnny Impact will fight Brian Cage for the Impact World Title in two weeks.
  3. Impact’s next Pay Per View happens on April 28th 2019 in Ontario, Canada and is called Rebellion.
  4. Scarlett Bordeaux had a spar with some dink by the pool and wore heels while doing so.
  5. Tessa Blanchard revealed that her suspension ends on February 15th and she will challenge Taya Valkyrie for the Knockouts Championship after that time.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

This was a good show, but it lacked the finesse of some of the better Impact shows of the years.


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