01st Dec2018

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Nov 29th 2018)

by Nathan Favel

impact-wrestling-header

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some wrestling…hopefully…maybe…baby. It rhymed…I couldn’t resist.

Match #1: Lucha Bros (Pentagon Jr & Fenix) beat Rich Swann & Willie Mack

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Swann and Fenix are evenly matched in the early going. There’s a huge exchange of superkicks as everyone is laid out in the middle of the ring. Swann and Mack hit a double-team bulldog on Pentagon for a near fall. Pentagon launches himself off the top with a huge double foot stomp to Swann! Pentagon hits Mack with the Codebreaker, followed by a huge splash from Fenix for a near fall! Mack hits the Pounce on Pentagon, then flies through the air with a big flip dive to the outside! Fenix hits a springboard corkscrew, taking out everyone on the ramp. Fenix spikes Swann into a Fear Factor Piledriver from Pentagon on the apron! Pentagon and Fenix hit a double-team flurry on Mack to pick up the win.

My Take: 3 out of 5 – This was a lot of fun and it served as a great high-light reel of what these guys can do. This was no match of the year, but it really got the blood pumping and that is what you need for the start of the card.

Match #2: Jordynne Grace beat Katarina

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Katarina challenged Grace to this rematch after losing just a few weeks ago. Katarina hits a series of running strikes but Grace breaks up the pin attempt by getting her foot on the rope. Katarina hits a jumping DDT off the top for a near fall! Grace connects with a Pounce, sending Katarina halfway across the ring. Grace hits a big running forearm in the corner, then locks in the Bear Hug to win the match by submission!

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a full and complete match that was a bit boring, but Grace was able to shine here any-way. Katarina has always been a bit clumsy in the ring, but she is very professional out in the ring and you’ll see her put over Grace like the beast she is being promoted to be.

Match #3: Taya Valkyrie beat Ray Lyn

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Lyn hits a missile dropkick off the second rope! Taya connects with running double knees in the corner. Taya kicks Ray to the mat and locks in a new submission maneuver to win!

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a standard match that made both fighters look good, but not very interesting. Ray reminds me of Alexa Bliss if the latter was a much better wrestler. Taya did fine here, but she isn’t being presented as the force of nature that she should be promoted as. Over-all, this was good but not great.

Match #4: The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier & Zachary Wentz) w/ Trey Miguel beat Chris Bey and Mike Sydal

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The Rascalz are making their debut as a team tonight on IMPACT Wrestling. Wentz hits a springboard corkscrew on Sydal. Bey hits a Hurricanrana on Wentz. The Rascalz fly with in-sync suicide dives to the outside. Wentz connects with a standing Moonsault as Xavier throws him on top of Sydal for the win!

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a quick shot of adrenaline that made the lot look athletic, but nothing else. I’d to tell you that the Rascalz were the second coming of the Radicalz, but the personality of this trio didn’t quite get to the camera. Also, Matt Sydal’s brother got back on TV, so that’s pretty damn cool. Over-all, this was an X-Division tag match that deserved another ten minutes to make an impact. It’s always a pun when you say impact during an Impact review.

Match #5: (Main Event) Tommy Dreamer beat Eli Drake

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Dreamer hits a cutter, sending Drake rolling to the outside. Drake gets himself intentionally counted out, awarding the victory to Dreamer. But then, Josh Mathews announces that he received word from IMPACT Wrestling management – this match will be restarted with no disqualifications and no countouts!

My Take: 0 out of 5 – It sucked.

Match #6: ( Main Event) Eli Drake beat Tommy Dreamer – No Disqualification, No Countout Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Dreamer breaks out the weapons as things get hardcore! Dreamer grabs a fan’s cane and hits Drake low with it. Drake turns the tide with a vertical suplex on the steel ramp! Drake hits a big neckbreaker but Dreamer kicks out at one! Drake jumps off the top with a steel chair but Dreamer gets a boot up to counter. Dreamer connects with his signature DDT for a very close near fall! Drake places a steel chair around the head of Dreamer and smashes it with an oar to score the victory.

My Take: 2.5 out of 5 – This was what you’d think, with the instruments of plunder on full display. I think I quoted Mick Foley quoting some-body else, but I don’t know math real well, so let’s leave it to the chemistry teachers to figure it out. This was like an infomercial that was meant to advertise an industrial strength aspirin. If you like watching two guys practice their golf stroke on each other’s half-naked asses, then you’re in luck.

News Of The Night:

  1. The Lucha Bros. were offered a tag title shot by LAX for Homecoming and they accepted.
  2. Konnan warned LAX that when the tag champions offered the Lucha Bros. a shot at the titles, the relationship between the two teams may now change.
  3. KM and Fallah Bahh had another bad vignette where they cried and went gambling and cried when they lost, as well as being told by Scarlett Bordeaux that they were losers. Would you pay to see two lame schmucks (who cry all the time) fight for the tag team titles?
  4. A really bad vignette with one of the referees featured the referee, high off of Scarlett Bordeaux playing with his #@!$, told Tessa Blanchard that she must respect the officials. It was about as exciting as you’d think… it sucked.
  5. Gail Kim got involved in the rivalry of Taya Valkyrie and Tessa Blanchard when the latter attacked second of the three.
  6. Killer Kross still wants Johnny Impact to ask him to help him do…some-thing. I know, it’s stupid, but this is all these people can do for booking it seems.
  7. Kiera Hogan is still stuck in the stupid story-line with Allie as an Evil Dead rip-off.
  8. Eddie Edwards was booked to do one of the worst vignettes in the history of professional wrestling, when he was shown as being locked up in a nut-house. Eddie drooled like a dink and his wife Alisha was so stupid that she couldn’t figure out her husband was whacked out on Morphine. Plus, the acting was some of the worst you’ll ever see from wrestling. Oh, Moose snuck in and read a bed-time story which featured him threatening Eddie, who drooled through that too. I’m starting to think that Russ Meyer is writing this $#!@ from beyond the grave just to screw with me, you and any-one with bad enough luck to tune in.
  9. Matt Sydal will wrestle Ethan Page soon.
  10. Eli Drake received a mysterious note in the backstage area as IMPACT Wrestling went off the air.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5

There was some good wrestling on here, but the amateur hour $#!@ that Don Callis and Scott D’Amore are doing is really killing this league. The World Title is barely a focus, when it should be at the epicenter of everything that happens in this company. When I tried to buy TNA/Impact, I said that I would have eventually tried to but the NWA and use the NWA World Title as the focal point, but I’d like to think the roster and the smarter personnel would have talked me into keeping TNA as TNA and use the World Title that the league had worked hard to make important. What’s the excuse for Callis and D’Amore for not focusing on the Impact World Title? Did Scarlett Bordeaux call it lame or something? I’m getting tired of that $#!@ too. As bad as these vignettes were, they weren’t enough to kill the matches, so that ought to tell you how far good wrestling can go on a wrestling show. Will some-body tell Don that Chris Jericho can’t save your ass from being fired if you keep trying to rise below vulgarity every week?

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