09th Nov2018

‘Slender Man’ DVD Review

by Jak-Luke Sharp

Stars: Joey King, Julia Goldani Telles, Jaz Sinclair, Annalise Basso, Alex Fitzalan, Taylor Richardson, Javier Botet, Jessica Blank, Michael Reilly Burke, Kevin Chapman, Miguel Nascimento | Written by David Birke | Directed by Sylvain White

slender-man-dvd

Small-town best friends Hallie, Chloe, Wren and Katie go online to try and conjure up the Slender Man – a tall, thin, horrifying figure whose face has no discernible features. Two weeks later, Katie mysteriously disappears during a class trip to a historic graveyard. Determined to find her, the girls soon suspect that the legend of the Slender Man may be all too real.

Slender Man is without a doubt a disgrace to the genre of horror… and a multitude of issues arises with this latest attempt at creating a horror franchise from Sony Pictures.

Firstly, the smallest issue at hand is the fact that Sony waited almost six years after the initial infamous game that spawned Slender Man and gave rise to his the characters notoriety. A generation has passed since that time and the only source of the present limelight that remains is the second biggest issues that Slender Man reeks of: the surrounding fallout of the 2014 Slender Man stabbing that occurred in Wisconsin. A situation which gave Sony cold feet on release and resorted in the company flatlining the marketing campaign for it to bomb on release. Unfortunately, not burying the film for no one to EVER see, might have been unwise. Burying the film is a decision that may have been best for all in the long run…

Those who were subjected to Slender Man, like myself, had to endure the ever ongoing and continuation of cheap insulting horror made for a buck and earning millions back. Thankfully the latter was not the case this time – Slender Man is officially a bomb; and perhaps the final product and the resulting fallout out will finally convince the studios left still making such dire and disappointing ventures, in the era of The Conjuring, Hereditary and Don’t Breathe, that the need for cheap and unimaginative horror is long gone.

Slender Man is a disgrace to the genre with how pathetic and ignorant it is. The scares are non-existent, with zero interest in making a spectacle for its audience and what takes its’ place is a film dragging an audience along for such a nightmarish ride of unimaginative events that have such poor substance, that the actual horror is sitting in your seat for the entire running time!

Slender Man is available (in the US) on DVD, Blu-ray and VOD now.

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