01st Aug2018

WWE Smackdown Live – July 31st 2018: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

smackdown-2018-logo

Welcome to this week’s Smackdown Live review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and tonight, we have the women’s champion in the main event against a surprise return. Is that last sentence vague, puzzling and confusing? Yeeeeeeessssssss!!!!!!!!!!! …but as the atomic moon lactates its electric juices upon our world, we must present our standing stillocity to mighty moo-cow, who will fight for us! Blllllaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! I’ve been reading from the writing hand-book of the Ultimate Warrior. I think he’s… grrreeeaaaattttttt!

Match #1: The Bar def. The Usos to advance to the finals of the SummerSlam tag team tournament

The following is courtesy of WWE.com:

With a chance to face The New Day next week for the opportunity to take on The Bludgeon Brothers for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship at SummerSlam, The Usos took on Sheamus & Cesaro on the blue brand in a high-octane contest. The New Day provided guest commentary (from their own pancake-filled table!) as they scouted the two veteran teams, who were holding nothing back in pursuit of the massive opportunity at The Biggest Event of the Summer. Sheamus & Cesaro attempted to wear down Jimmy & Jey, showing no signs of ring rust after their break from the squared circle. However, The Usos battled back, as the match starting to look like a game of Pong on Atari with all the momentum swings.

After several chaotic exchanges, Cesaro & Sheamus caught each Uso with an Uppercut and knees to the gut respectively, allowing The Bar to pick up the clutch victory and advance to the final round. After the match, The New Day left their post and entered the ring to face off with their trash-talking opponents. The squads stared each other down for a few moments with Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods looking ready to scrap. However, finding it wise to fight another day, Sheamus & Cesaro slowly backtracked out of the ring, clearly preferring to wait to get into it until their match next week.

My Take: I almost wrote, “My Taka”, which would be a completely different story, although it could be a wrestling-related article any-way. Oh, my Taka. Any-way, this was a very good match that was a real blast to watch. Plus, Cesaro is back, bay-bay! Drink it in… who-ever the hell you are.

Match #2: Zelina Vega def. Lana

The following is courtesy of WWE.com:

Lana squared off against Zelina Vega with Andrade “Cien” Almas in her corner after the beef between The Ravishing Russian and Vega extended from last week’s SmackDown onto social media. Rusev was not by Lana’s side since The Bulgarian Brute requested some space last week when he suggested that perhaps Lana and Aiden English may not be right for Rusev Day. The two Superstars were as fiery as ever as they battled it out on the blue brand. In the match’s pivotal moments, Almas attempted to distract Lana in hopes of giving Vega an edge. This prompted The Mozart of Mayhem to rush down and neutralize Andrade’s attempt at impacting the contest, but it still proved costly, as Zelina caught Lana off-guard with a rollup for the win.

My Take: Well, at least the bell rung. There wasn’t much here, but at least it wasn’t a bra and panties contest, which my libido would love, but the wrestling fan that I am says is disgraceful to even consider.

Match #3: Main Event – Charlotte Flair def. Carmella to turn the SmackDown Women’s Championship Match at SummerSlam into a Triple Threat

The following is courtesy of WWE.com:

General Manager Paige announced earlier in the evening that Carmella and Charlotte Flair would square off tonight, and if Flair got the win, she would be added to the SmackDown Women’s Championship Match between Princess Mella and Becky Lynch at SummerSlam, making it a Triple Threat. With pressure on both Superstars, Carmella and Charlotte partook in their rubber match on the blue brand. Lynch watched on curiously from her locker room as the two battled it out. Quick to tout her two prior victories over The Queen, Carmella wrestled strategically in the early goings, trying to find her spots and wear Charlotte down. However, Flair’s dynamic offense could not be contained for long, and she was soon dishing it out on The Princess of Staten Island.

Carmella caught The Queen with a clutch superkick, but Flair escaped at the count of two. From there, The Princess got a little too overconfident and tried to apply Charlotte’s signature Figure-Eight on The Queen. But with Charlotte knowing the move better than anyone this side of The Nature Boy himself, Flair reversed it to earn the tapout victory and earn her place in the SmackDown Women’s Championship Match at SummerSlam.

My Take: This was a good match that gave Carmella two matches in a row that were worth watching. I’m glad to see Charlotte Flair in the title match, but if we’re going this route, then Vince should just put Asuka in here for a Fatal 4 Way (which would make the match better, to be honest).

News of the Night:

  1. Daniel Bryan and The Miz continued their build to a match.
  2. Charlotte Flair returned to help Becky Lynch, which is how she got involved in the title shot in the main event.
  3. The triple threat rivalry of Shinsuke Nakamura, Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy escalated as both Nakamura and Orton attacked Hardy.
  4. Samoa Joe cut a strong promo on AJ Styles ahead of their WWE World Heavyweight Title match at Summerslam.
  5. The New Day wrestle The Bar in the finals of the Smackdown tag team tournament, next week.

Final Verdict: Having only three matches in a two hour wrestling card is pathetic. I’ve seen more wrestling on WWE Superstars than I have tonight. Talking segments only draw money once a year, not once a week, yet that is what the whole card was filled with. The wrestling that was here was good and the talking segments were just as such, but for a show that just got signed to a $1 billion deal, you’d think they’d want to pack each week with the best wrestling they’ve got, just to keep the deal locked in.
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Thank you for reading and I’ll see you for 205 Live.

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