06th Oct2017

‘Killing Hasselhoff’ DVD Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Ken Jeong, Rhys Darby, Jim Jeffries, David Hasselhoff, Howie Mandel, Flula Borg, Gena Lee Nolin, Will Sasso, Mel B, Michael Winslow, Jon Lovitz | Written by Peter Hoare | Directed by Darren Grant

Killing-Hasselhoff-DVD

When Chris (Ken Jeong) a struggling nightclub owner, fails to pay back a debt to a loan shark, he decides that in order to get the money; his only option is to kill his entry in an annual ‘who will die this year’ celebrity death pool; David Hasselhoff. What started out as a regular week quickly turns into the worst few days of his life as, aided by his friends Fish (Rhys Darby – Flight of the Conchords, The Boat That Rocked) and Tommy (Jim Jeffries – Tainted Love, Legit), Chris desperately tries everything he can to off the master of the slow-mo run and claim the jackpot. Along the way he’ll find out that killing ain’t easy, especially when your target is… The Hoff!

Question. Who got blackmailed to make this film? Whose got enough dirt on the cast to make them appear in this movie? Both questions are valid because I can’t see any other way ANYONE involved with this film thought it would make for a good movie! Maybe everyone was in on the “joke” that this movie is; and when I say joke, I mean the one that is played on an the audience for watching this garbage.

The worse thing is, judging by the cast and the concept you’d expect Killing Hasselhoff to at least be funny. Even if in an absurdist way. But it’s not. Instead it’s like watching a group of performers coming together to over-egg the script, act like exaggerated versions of themselves – hell, even David Hasselhoff turns himsefl into a caricature of himself! Gone is the self-effacing Hoff of the Baywatch remake and the myriad of cameos he’s done; and in comes an obnoxious, egotistical version that you, honestly, expect Hasslehoff to be when the cameras aren’t rolling.

Honestly, it’s hard to believe that a film starring such a variety of funny men could, in fact, be so dull. Not a single one of the comedians in the movie has a funny thing to say. In fact, the only lines to raise a laugh in this entire film come from Flula – he of YouTube and Pitch Perfect 2 fame – who nails his role as a “German” hobo talking about being urinated on by a dog! At least the humour doesn’t even attempt to be politiaclly correct. That’s one positive, I guess.

A major misfire for WWE Studios (in fact it’s a huge step back towards the early days of the companies DTV output) Killing Hasselhoff is more likely to be remembered for NOT featuring Hulk Hogan – who was cut completely out of the film following his racist remarks. And like Hogan’s now-sullied career, Killing Hasselhoff should be resigned to the realms of gimmicks that need to be forgotten…

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