16th Oct2016

‘Halloween Party’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Elle Newlands, Frank Gangarossa, Chris Pentzell, Christine Blackburn, David Banks, Andrea Leithe, Danny Pardo, Skyler Cooper, Jennifer Popagain, Elina Madison, Anora Lyn, Rachel Sorsa, Daniel Schweiger | Written by Mark Cardone, Laree’ D. Griffith , Betsy Morris, Linda Palmer, Chris Pentzell | Directed by Linda Palmer

hp-cast

One of the mandates of my film writing has to always try and uncover gems within in the independent film scene and promote films that might otherwise fly under the radar of audiences and other film bloggers alike. With that mandate comes the knowledge that I could posssibly be subjecting myself to the kinds of movies that, in all honesty, should have remained in the proverbial film closet. But I still approach each and every film I review (and even those that I don’t) with an open mind, in hopes that the next movie will be one that is worth shouting from the rooftops about.

Unfortunately Halloween Party is NOT such a movie. In fact it’s the complete opposite.

Advertised  without much fanfare, merely promoted as “released in time for the Halloween season” I honestly had no idea what to expect from Halloween Party. What is this? A horror comedy, a seasonal slasher or something entirely different? Based on the official synopsis I was at least hoping for something a little sleazy – but I was to be sorely disappointed:

Erin – hot, smart and single, is desperately trying to find a normal guy. She reluctantly agrees to come to her friends’ party. Dressed as a “stud finder” she is trying to find the love of her life at the titular Halloween Party. The prowling pirate, the sexy nurse, the hairy wolf man, the down to earth cave girl, the dueling strippers, the cops and S&M types, and even a half naked Sarah Palin are all trying to find some quick steamy action. The only guy that seems normal to Erin is someone dressed as a homeless man that smells like sh*t! Hidden cameras everywhere will catch the guests off guard in the most kinky situations in this Halloween’s wildest time!

Yeah, if that sounds like a bad movie to you then… voila, you’ve hit the nail on the head. This IS a terrible movie. The rare kind of film where there is NOTHING to recommend it; with zero redeeming qualities whatsoever. Hard to believe there are an incredible FIVE people credited on IMDB as working on the script!

What Halloween Party actually is, is a terribly unfunny, wannabe sex comedy that tries so, so desperately to be a throwback to those 80s sex comedies that unsuspecting teenagers everywhere rented based solely on the VHS art. But those days are long gone; and those films often – at least when I saw them as a kid – had something of a heart. Linda Palmer’s film feels nothing more than a by-the-numbers cash grab – and one, given the involvement of a character dressed as Sarah Palin, the feels incredibly dated.

And there’s a reason for that. Halloween Party was filmed way back in 2012 and has languished in no-distribution limbo ever since. Dumped to VOD both here and in the US, this is an easy pass this holiday season. Stick to actual horror instead, not the horror that is this film.

Halloween Party is available on iTunes now.

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