24th Jan2016

‘Long Jeanne Silver’ DVD Review (Vinegar Syndrome)

by Mondo Squallido

Stars: Jeanne Silver, Joey Silvera, Amber Hunt, China Leigh, Tori Blue, Paul Thomas, Sandy Pinney | Directed by Alex deRenzy

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Our film gets off to a great start with the titular Jeanne Silver (Waterpower) letting us know that she is handicapped and horny, as well as boasting about having a bigger member than the legendary John Holmes. After such an introduction, we’re thrown right in to action with Jeanne enjoying a light hearted threesome with her friends Joey (Joey Silvera, Expectations) and Amber (Amber Hunt, Cry For Cindy). During this little frolic, we see Jeanne’s handicap for the first time. Of course, she utilises it! After that, Jeanne tells us about the almost unlimited sexual opportunities high school has to offer (I obviously went to the wrong school!) and shares her exploits with a boy from her art class who just so happens to be gay. He may not be in to girls, but Jeanne has a trick up her sleeve, I mean her trouser leg! Yes indeed. We all know what happens next! They both enjoy it so who are we to judge!? Following that party trick, Jeanne tells us about fellow students China (China Leigh, Teeny Buns) and Lori (Lori Blue, Chopstix) who are somewhat prudish. Being the giving girl that she is, Jeanne shows off her Cheri magazine photo shoot and tells them abut life and sex with her stump. Understandably intrigued, they retreat to the bedroom to see what all the fuss is about. Needless to say, their curiosity is rewarded! For her penultimate outing, Jeanne tells us of that time she was a birthday present for a chap named Paul (Paul Thomas, Jesus Christ Superstar) from his wife Sandy (Sandy Pinney, Her Last Fling). It’s a birthday treat that he will never forget. For her final encounter, Jeanne tells us about one of the many lesbian encounters with her horny, leather clad neighbour (I have no idea who she is). Ending on a high sapphic note for sure!

Long Jeanne Silver is a unique experience indeed. The film is essentially a series of vignettes broken up and structured around Jeanne addressing us, the audience. To some extent, it’s a rather candid documentary with dramatised reconstructions if you will. You really believe that what we are seeing is in fact the life of Jeanne Silver. The conversation between Jeanne, China and Lori especially has a real sense of legitimacy about it. Even the way some of the sex is filmed further cements that. If you have never seen the film, you probably know why this film is as well known as it is and somewhat infamous. To be honest, as much as that scene is quite shocking (a quick search on even the biggest porn site will expose you too much more extreme sexual acts) and stands out, the real star of the show is Jeanne herself. Not only is she a knockout (she’s just as, if not more attractive nowadays), she’s funny, carefree and downright bubbly. More importantly for me, even though this film is obviously centred around her handicap and how she utilises it, her personality and all round screen presence shine through. Considering that this is a deRenzy flick and it’s centred around an amputee, it’s not as sleazy or bizarre as you would think. It’s really quite a sensitive and an all round human film. Jeanne isn’t portrayed as a freak, she’s celebrated as opposed to being exploited. Everyone else involved do a great job too, but then again, they have no need to show off their acting chops. The film might have quite a reputation, but it’s so much more than that. At around 65 minutes, the film flies by and is an easy watch. Overall, it’s a winner that you can go back to time and time again.

Who would have thought we would get a restored and uncut version of this gem? It may not be the greatest looking or sounding restoration job from Vinegar Syndrome, but considering it’s restored from a 16mm Archival Print, that can be forgiven. In terms of special features, there’s only a commentary track. As much as I would have loved a trailer (if there actually is one that exists), I am not going to complain because the commentary track (recorded over the phone so it’s perfect) is from Jeanne herself who is essentially going in to the film blind. It’s entertaining as it is amusing. Overall, this is a must own for fans of the film and newcomers a like. It warms my cold, almost dead heart that a film like this is now has a restored, easy to obtain and ultimately legitimate release. Not only that, but it’s great to see that thanks to this release, the wonderful Jeanne Silver is now finding a new audience and getting the respect that she deserves. It’s also great that most of us can now get rid of that pesky Alpha Blue Archives disc!

Long Jeanne Silver is available on DVD now from Vinegar Syndrome.

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