26th Jul2015

‘Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Mark McGrath, Cassie Scerbo, David Hasslehoff, Frankie Muniz, Ryan Newman, Mark Cuban, Bo Derek, Blair Fowler, Michael Winslow | Written by Thunder Levin | Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante

sharknado-3

Hellraiser did it, Jason Vorhees did it, and now the killer sharks of sharknado are doing it… they’re heading into SPACE!

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No continues the story of Fin Shepard – fresh from receiving a medal of honour from the President of the United States  and a mini-battle with a sharknado in Washington, D.C. – who, this time round takes on an ever-growing succession of sharknado’s that, eventually, build to a sharknado “wall” that can only be stopped by launching Fin Shepard and his dad (played by David Hasslehoff) into outer space to literally burn the sharks out of Earth’s upper atmosphere!

As per the previous film, Sharknado 3 is filled with celebrity cameos, including Mark Cuban as the President of the United States; Ann Coulter as the Vice President; Michele Bachmann as herself; Jerry Springer as Mr. White, a manic tourist; Washington Redskins tackle Tom Compton as a reporter; Chris Jericho, who portrays Bruce the roller coaster ride operator; Penn & Teller as friends of Fin Shepard’s dad; a whole host of US daytime TV hosts (many of whom I couldn’t name if I tried); Lou Ferrigno, as the bodyguard of the US Vice President; one of the Real Housewives (can’t remember her name, only the fact she’s a raging alcoholic; and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on.

You see writer Thunder Levin and director Anthony C. Ferrante have forgone any actual story and instead opted for a series of “celebrity panic” and/or “celebrity death” montages for this movie… Then there’s the rehashing of scenes we’ve seen in previous movies – for one, Ziering once again dives into the mouth of a shark and Tara Reid chainsaw out of one. Talk about running out of ideas. Although that’s not going to stop Levin and Ferrante – the film ends with the announcement of part four!

For fans of the series there really is only one reason to tune into Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No, the third (and definitely NOT final) installment of the franchise. Cassie Scerbo. Yes, Ian Ziering’s co-star from the original movie returns for this sequal as Nova, who has taken the trauma she experienced in the first film and channeled it into becoming a badass and incredibly sexy shark hunter, ably assisted by former Malcom in the Middle star Frankie Muniz, who has a brilliant, some would dare say inventive, death scene – probably the best death in the entire franchise!

Of course by now there’s nowhere to go for the Sharknado franchise but into even more insane territory – hence heading into space for this film. Where the series goes from here remains to be seen, but judging by what has come before there’s absolutely NO WAY to predict what Sharknado 4 has in store (Sharknado vs. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda maybe?). All I do know is that, despite my protestations, I’ll be tuning in. After all, we all like to rubberneck at a car crashes right?

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