01st Feb2015

A cut by cut breakdown of the ‘House of Cards: Season 3’ trailer

by Catherina Gioino

Wow. I mean, just wow. We’ve already been as hooked on House of Cards as a test lab mouse is on Pepsi sugar. As if they just can’t toy with us enough, they show the final season of the award winning show right after Kevin Spacey’s Golden Globe win for the character we’ve come to love… and fear.

In an ill twist of fate, audiences would have to wait two whole weeks (OK that’s a lie, it’s thirteen days, but no one noticed right?) for the season to be released; February 27th compared to last year’s ironic release on Valentine’s Day. As we have just learned how to cope with the denial of this being the series’ final season, we have enough from the commercial to sustain us these long four weeks.

Well that’s a flat out lie. We know nothing.

That’s just what they want us to think.

We left off at the end of last season of House of Cards with Francis Underwood (Spacey) as the new President of the United States, with some brand new bling on his hand as a gift from Claire (Robin Wright) for his birthday. Underwood then goes into complete presidential mode and starts making calls to the Chinese president and ends their dispute while taking away Xander Feng’s (Terry Chen) immunity so he could get deported to China and probably executed. Don’t forget that Feng was a corrupt business partner of Raymond Tusk (Gerald McRaney) who was former President Walker’s (Michel Gill) friend and advisor. As we leave off with that from the Underwood side of the show, we see Doug (Michael Kelly) lying on the floor unconscious with his eyes open. I hesitate to say dead because I still have hope and felt like there was more to go along with his character. He was hit with a rock by Rachel (Rachel Brosnahan) who was kept quiet by Doug on Underwood’s behalf since she could be used as evidence against Underwood in the death of Peter Russo (Corey Stoll). And let’s just skip a few other notes and just mention that Gavin Orsay (Jimmi Simpson) is trying to play keeps with the FBI just as Jackie (Mollie Parker) is trying to gain control of Congress like her predecessor and is trying to use Remy (Mahershala Ali) while he uses her.

Well that was a mouthful. Anyhow, the trailer gives us new light into what we should expect from the final season.

We start off with Underwood, hands on desk, (see what I did there?), looking up while asking us telepathically if we know “What takes real courage.”


We see a person carrying flowers while walking through a cemetery, quite possibly to that of a Doug Stamper.


Claire is then seen opening a door in her PJs as the next shot features Underwood in a meeting, while narrating, “Holding it all together,” as the answer to real courage. Conveniently, Underwood is holding a box, which we know, holds things together.


We see Claire adjust Frank’s tie and then they walk through the halls, with Francis continuing, “When the stakes are this high.”


Francis then is seen speaking to a huge crowd in front of an even bigger flag.


And then we see three caskets draped in the American flag. One each for the death of Francis’ morals, patience and southern accent?


Claire then turns to the right while keeping her body to the left, much like my graduation photo, but of course, much more elegantly.


We then see a cop limo pull up to the White House and the next cut is of a worried Vlad the Impaler *cough cough* I mean Vladimir Putin-look-alike glance at Francis’s outward hand.


We see Claire in a courtroom saying something political into a mic just as we cut to Francis doing the same, but to a large crowd that are presumably the same from the first cut.


Then we see Putin standing up to Francis – literally.


And we cut to a prison cell with some unknown guy who might be Barrett Brown.


Putin has the hots for Claire.


Francis is trying to decide if it’s the best Dracula impression he’s ever seen (hence he’s clapping) or if this guy just kissed his wife in front of everyone.


The Underwoods give each other the silent treatment, while some person turns around to see someone’s silhouette in the background.


This hipster wants something stopped as Claire stares into her pillow, sadly.


Netflix informs us that the first two seasons are available for streaming online.


Just as Remy pulls something out of his jacket, probably glasses or a gun. Yeah, definitely a gun.


Underwood then has a press conference and looks menacing as he passes by Seth Grayson (Derek Cecil), his press secretary who probably looks more like Martin Short than Martin Short looks like Martin Short…


We see Claire being moved to the side as Francis cries over the recent loss of his Southern accent (the same one we saw buried before).


Gavin quickly closes the Facebook tab as the FBI agent comes to check on his work.


Francis finds out he accidentally double-tapped on Jackie’s Instagram photo from last year.


Claire realizes she accidentally left her car lights on but it’s too cold to go outside.


She calls the cops and they try to help her start her dead car battery.


Francis starts wondering if Jackie told Claire about his liking of her bikini photo.


Claire then informs Francis that her car battery died, and states, “We’re murderers.”


Francis retorts with “We’re survivors.” Obviously he’s referring to all the jogging that he and Claire have been doing throughout the past two seasons and, in keeping with Darwin’s theory of Survival of the Fittest, he believes that due to their experience in jogging they will survive an impending doom that those who always drive would not have otherwise. Obviously.


And finally, Netflix tells us we have to wait four weeks to see this amazing show come to a conclusion.


Did I miss anything? Watch the trailer below and don’t watch it on February 27. Go on March 1 or something, because I don’t want you crashing the site!


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