26th Aug2014

Review Round-Up: Blood Orgy in The Longest Week at The Cabin

by Phil Wheat

We’re playing catch-up here on Nerdly – after a busy 2 weeks prepping for and then attending this years Frightfest there’s a number of weekly-release reviews to bring you up to speed on. So here they are, reviews of The Cabin, Blood Orgy of the She Devils and The Longest Week.

25-August-DVDs

The Cabin

Another one of those straight to DVD films that make up 99% of the horror films on sale at supermarkets, with the same generic cover art and shiny slipcase, The Cabin is destined to get mixed up with all the other cabin/lodge/house movies on the market when, in fact, it doesn’t deserve to – this film has little to do with the titular abode and more to do with the main characters bloodline (the original title of the movie) and his relationship with his faith.

The film tells the story of seminary student Brett Ethos (Matt Thompson) who falls away from the church and his faith only to find out that his bloodline is sought after by a real evil. On a trip with friends and an old flame, to explore a cabin left to him by the will of his family, Brett discovers his true heritage. Temptation or redemption becomes his ultimatum as he and his friend’s lives hang in the balance…

A slow-burning film that, for most of its running time, concentrates on character development and explores Brett’s relationship with god – all the while building some much-needed tension – The Cabin eventually kicks into high gear in the final third of the film with some decent gore effects and violence that will please anyone who’s managed to stick with the film.

An interesting look at faith, religion and relationships, unlike other cabin-set movies the titular cabin in this film is the safest place to be!

Blood Orgy of the She Devils

A coven of near-naked witches are driven into a wild orgiastic killing frenzy by throbbing native drums. Bound on the blood-splattered altar, the terrified screams of struggling male captives go unheard as razor sharp spears plunge into their hearts. Queen Mara – whose dark power hails from Lucifer himself – has unleashed her reign of terror, hell-bent on avenging centuries of witch-burnings. The authorities are baffled as the brutal homicides multiply. When psychic Professor Helford and his team of exorcists zero in on Queen Mara’s castle, all the demonic forces of Satan are unleashed in a final cataclysmic clash of good and evil.

It’s safe to say that the work of Ted V. Mikels is something of an acquired taste. For a start, most of Mikels films have titles that promise much more than the films themselves deliver. As is the case with Blood Orgy of the She Devils, which features not a single “blood orgy” sadly… What it’s does feature is an atmospheric setting and some ridiculous over-acting by a cast made up of many of Mikel’s regular cohorts in a film which is bereft of a lot of the typical exploitation tropes and is instead high on camp quality.

If you’ve seen any of Mikels other movies – Astro-Zombies or The Corpse Grinders (which 88 Films also released here in the UK) – you should kn ow exactly what to expect from this flick. Shlock. Pure unadulterated shlock; with a side of laughs. And much like the aforementioned Corpse GrindersBlood Orgy of the She Devils is one for the beer and pizza crowd.

The Longest Week

Conrad Valmont (Jason Bateman) is the over-educated, under-employed heir to the Valmont Hotel fortune. Though he’s spent most of his adult life enjoying a playboy lifestyle on a diet of Tom Collins cocktails, at 40 years old, he finds himself suddenly cut off from his allowance and tossed out into the unforgiving streets of the Upper West Side. Luckily, he is taken in by his old friend Dylan (Billy Crudup), and returns the favour by immediately falling for Dylan’s beautiful girlfriend, Beatrice (Olivia Wilde). A hilarious love triangle ensues as Conrad attempts to woo Beatrice all over the city in secret. All’s fair in love and war, right? That is, until she finds out he’s completely broke and Dylan finds out his best friend has stolen his girl.

How in their right mind would use Arthur as an inspiration for a period-set rom-com? It seems the makers of The Longest Week that’s who… Part Arthur rip-off, part Woody Allen wannabe, the film is a hodge-podge of ideas and themes that features unlikeable characters, pretentious dialogue and needs a monologue to bring the audience up to speed because there script is full of gaping plot holes. Worst of all it’s dull. Very dull. All rom and not much com, which the film definitely to raise it up to match even the Arthur sequel and/or remake! Avoid.

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