23rd Mar2013

‘Hansel & Gretel Get Baked’ Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: Molly C. Quinn, Yancy Butler, Lara Flynn Boyle, Lochlyn Munro, Michael Welch, Andrew James Allen | Written by David Tillman | Directed by Duane Journey


Tommy Wirkola has a lot to answer for…

Since releasing his Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters flick there have been more and more Hansel & Gretel-related flicks hitting DVD, I’ve already reviewed the god-awful Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft and now we have the Tribeca Films distributed stoner horror-comedy Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (aka Hansel & Gretel: The 420 Witch).

Starring Michael Welch, from the Twilight saga and the fantastic TV show Joan of Arcadia, as Hansel and Molly C. Quinn, who plays Nathan Fillion’s daughter on Castle, as Gretel, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked tells the story of a brother and sister (played by Welch and Quinn respectively) who must battle a witch who lures teenagers into her suburban home with her special blend of marijuana where she then proceeds to kill them and eat them to maintain her youthful looks.

Let me set the record straight, I went into this film expecting something along the lines of Vampires Suck (yes I’m a sucker for punishment, pardon the pun) but instead – despite having a ridiculous drug-fueled title and featuring a stupid marijuana based plot – Hansel & Gretel Get Baked features hardly any jokes, stoner or not, but does come replete with plenty of gore in what is actually a mad blend of stoner, gangster, slasher, zombie movie and fairytale. This bizarre take on the classic tale is so off-the-wall in fact that by the time we get to  anything bearing a resemblance to the original Hansel & Gretel story, the forest has been replaced by a weed farm and the breadcrumbs by Skittles!

There’s a reason this was originally called Black Forest: Hansel & Gretel and the 420 Witch as the film focuses much more on (the overly botox-ed) Lara Flynn Boyles’ marijuana-producing, teenager-eating witch than the titular heroes. Who in this case aren’t really heroes of any kind, just pain-in-the-ass kids who, like their fairytale counterparts, happen to stumble upon the witch and end up killing her.

Overall something of a misnomer, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is saved only by some good gore and monster effects. The film is available now on iTunes (US).

** 2/5


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