08th Jan2012

‘Sand Sharks’ Review

by Paul Metcalf

Stars: Brooke Hogan, Corin Nemec, Gina Holden, Julie Berman, Nick Hogan, Vanessa Lee Evigan | Written by Cameron Larson | Directed by Mark Atkins

When you get a movie to review called Sand Sharks you can already guess what is coming. This is going to be one of those crazy shark films that use dodgy CGI and bad acting but just don’t seem to care. They don’t make these films to be good, if anything they ham it up to insane levels and just go with it. You’ll either groan or just go with it and love it. I’m one of those people that usually groan but I gave Sand Sharks a chance.

The stories for these movies are pretty barebones at best but I’d say this one actually tried to some extent, being that it stole the Jaws idea and runs with it with the difference being that the sharks themselves are in the sand of course. So basically a beach resort is having problems with sharks and they call in an expert, Sandy Powers played by Brooke Hogan. Yes, you got that right a woman famed for her fake breasts being called “Sandy Powers” you can tell what these so called powers are. Now enough of the lame jokes and back to what she is meant to be, a marine biologist. This did have me rolling my eyes at just the thought of this as from her reality shows we already know Brooke Hogan is gives the impression of being anything but smart, shockingly enough though she actually acts quite well in this movie. Yes you heard me right, a Hogan can act. She outdoes her father at least and which while not saying much is a big positive for her. So with Sandy Powers at hand to help and an old sailor who is obviously a rip off of Sam Quint but for some strange reasons sounds like Popeye the police try to stop the sharks, while at the same time the mayors dumbass son decides to organise a major beach dance party to pull in the crowds; onto the shark infested sand. As you can guess it’s all a recipe for a major CGI blood fest explosion. It’s almost like Tremors with scantily clad teenagers and crappy special effects, just nowhere near as good.

So yes, the acting is mediocre; you can tell just how bad it is when I state that Brooke Hogan is the best actress in the film. It does succeed in one thing though and that is it manages to be fun. The sharks play their role and that’s to eat anybody that gets onto the beach, and just when you think they are beat out comes a bigger one, then a bigger one until you get to a point where…well you’ll just have to watch the movie and see. The fact is though if you just want some fun this film manages this at least.

I’d not say Sand Sharks is a bad film; it’s just not a good one. As I said though these films are not made to be good they are just made to be fun. I’m not sure it’s got that much of a re-watch value but for the time it lasts it’s not one of those movies that feels like it’s actually stealing moments of your life away but more an entertaining way to waste around 90 minutes. It succeeds in what it tries to be, and to the most part it’s just silly entertaining fun as long as people don’t get offended by the fact it blatantly steals from Jaws everywhere it can and yes, there are people out there who do get offended by such silly thing.

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